Do you ever think * I really can't be arsed *?

[Eastwickwitch]

DS 17 is just plain rude. He's sweetness & light at school and when DG is here, the rest of the time he's holed up in his bedroom on the laptop, phone or whatever.
He can barely be bothered to hold a conversation with me.
Tonight I've had enough. Told him that if he can't be civilised I'm not cooking his supper/ironing his clothes/generally engaging.
He won't engage & really I can't be bothered to try.
please tell me I'm not alone in not really liking him very much?

I have never been on here before but thought would look for advice on living with teenagers as I have a daughter who turned 15 a few days ago and now thinks she is free to live her life how she wants and just tells me what she is doing rather than asking.
Some of the stories have made me feel so much better as I know I am not I'm on my own and it is so funny reading other peoples experiences.
She has told me today that she doesn't want to be here as I don't understand what it is like to be young and my response (which probably wasn't the right one!!) was well just piss off then, you know where the door is, to which she stormed out and now is texting me asking ME why I'm so horrible. God give me strength!!

We need to try and remember they don't mean to be so horrible, their brain just doesn't function properly anymore!
Every time one of mine says/does something awful I just keep thinking 'reptilian brain, reptilian brain'.
Sometimes I too respond in ways that aren't really helpful but try hard to be the adult in the room!

I've tried agreeing with DD today and it worked - thank you for that advice

Sorry, should have said - that was for Heyho

Sirchenjin - I'm really pleased it worked. It feels so weird answering your kids that way. Long may it continue. X

Yesterday I agreed with DS that it was the Examiner's Fault that he failed his driving test. I even offered to ring them up and challenge the outcome.
He was still incensed but at least not with me.

Heyho great advice there. I have a habit of trying to offer solutions and fix things for 15 yo dd. When I remember to just listen and agree it generally works.

My 12 year old is going through puberty and is foul! He swears all the time, not interested in school,homework even football which he is really good at but his attitude lets him down. I have sat down and calmly said I don't like the language and the fact that when he is angry he throws things around. I'm lucky as he "doesn't mind me" but his dad is another kettle of fish he seems to take great pleasure in winding his dad up. Every day seems like a battleground in our house. Any advice?

Heyho- I hope you're right. Ds1 is 17 and a nightmare. He never spends any time with us. It's his brothers birthday and we have a family meal out. He's come home for the first time this weekend and he's moody, miserable, rude and just horrible.

I've said he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to but he insists he does want to and me saying that means I don't want him there. Well I don't not if he's going to ruin it for us all by being so horrible. I said of course I want you there or I wouldn't have asked you to come.

I'm at my wits end with him again. I just keep hoping and praying it's a stage but I'm not so sure. He has no interest in college, finding a job, sports or any of the other things he used to do.

Aargh.....I am calm.....I am calm...
DD is trying to put her textiles portfolio together for uni interviews over the next three weeks (she has four interviews, the first this Wednesday!)Wanted my help deciding which pieces from all her three A Level art subject design folders to include. Nothing I have suggested is right ....what do you know.....you don't understand......You haven't got a clue.......that's not good enough.....you don't care!
Having taught the same subject for nearly 30 years - no I don't have a clue!!
Now I just cannot be arsed.....well tonight anyway. I'll try again tomorrow.

Good luck with the interviews Restless - my DD did her UCAS on the very last day, digital portfolios on the very last day, made one of her choices the worst uni in Britain so isn't going to the interview and didn't submit her work for the other good one (but told me she had done it) - obviously does not have any interviews set up yet - who knows if the 3 she was submitting actually got done and sent...haven't heard. Her room is a tip, doesn't feel we do anything for her (apart from my 3 hour school & college run every morning of course!!) I really am running on empty with DD at the moment.

So to answer the question OP - Yes I sometimes think I cannot be arsed!!!

Ok folks I take it back. DD got unconditional offer for her first choice (and really great) uni. Teenagers...just when we think we have had it, they go and do something very cool. That was a low point when I posted but all's well now and DD cheerful and has even changed her bedding and hoovered!!! :) Hope it was good news for your DD Restless and hope things good for you too OP.

oh sorry I have name changed from nickstmoritz since then so that would be confusing!