Teenage Boys, is there an age roughly where it all goes pear shaped?

[myotherusernameisbetter]

Just wondering what to watch out for really - DSs are 14 and a half and 13 and a half, we get an occasional bit of chee k from younger son that I've learned not to react to (mostly) and it seems to have more or less died out but other wise all is well. I'd like them to help out a bit more about the house and spend a bit less time on screen but otherwise things are good. So for those who have had teenage boy issues, when did they start and were there any warning signs? Just don't want to get too complacent (or smug!) and working out when we can relax and think our job is done! :o

Agree with Haffdonga that they don't always go pear-shaped, most of them just change & grow up & gradually get more independent. My three boys are between 17 & 21, and they've pushed the boundaries a bit as you'd expect, but never gone off the rails. I think the key is to keep the lines of communication open with them, and gradually give them more freedom. It's so hard to let go, though. I'm feeling it most with my 17 year old because he's my baby

15-18 was the killer age for my Ds'

Looking at DS and his peers (15/16 year olds), and mates with teens, it seems that most are absolutely fine.

Yeah, they get a bit daft, smelly, untidy and greedy and their apparent inability to think ahead drives you crackers...but nothing that would interest the Daily Mail .

The group of boys who became quite challenging were starting to be difficult by 13 and properly challenging by 15 (smoking fags and weed, drinking, sex, disengaged from school..).

For these boys there doesn't seem to be a common theme. One of them I know well (he's a good friend's son) and he's basically a decent lad. He just never wants to follow the rules, either at school or at home. His behaviour is just one headache after another.

No. They're gorgeous. No tantrums to friendship issues.

Watch secret dribking I year ten

Ive got three. I've never seen them tantrum. In fact I've never seen them even be angry or raise their voices. Boys just rock.

What a lovely positive thread about teens.

DS1 is nearly 15 and had some problems in Year 9 (disengaging from education, constantly unhappy, giving up activities) but it turned out to be caused by mental health problems. Now that those have been addressed, he is back to being him.

The only 'teenage' behaviour that stands out is a complete intolerance of his siblings. This started aged about 13 and still hasn't improved much.

DS2 is nearly 13 and the only change I have noticed so far is a tendency to over-assess his levels of happiness / anxiety, which results in adolescent angst.

DS was awful when he turned 12, very aggressive and rude. Now hes 13 he is lovely although instead of the aggression I get tears. I suspect its all to do with hormones.

My DD was the teenager from hell (nice now) - the DSs have been comparatively fine. DS1 was always OK at home, but kept his bad behaviour for school while DD was the opposite - at a time when I was tearing my hair out and joining parenting forums, her teachers thought she was an angel. I think it's just luck of the draw, really.

The other thing I wanted to add is not to underestimate the effects of constantly being tested and assessed at school and the results compared with (arbitrary) targets.

In my teenage years, we did not have this. We had the occasional test, but otherwise it was just work hard, a bit of coursework, GCSEs and then A-levels.

From Y7 onwards, my children are assessed in every subject five times a year. Then from the beginning of Y10, controlled assessments are added in. Their targets are unrealistically high, so if DS1 gets a B, it comes up as red (cause for concern) on the report he is given twice a term. If he gets an A, it comes up as orange (behind target). This pressure is constant from the ages of 11 to 18.

A mixed bag then, but lovely to hear that teenage troubles are not inevitable and that some sail from childhood to adulthood remarkably easily.

I don't think we have the same level of testing in school in Scotland, but I could be wrong and that we just don't get to hear about it. I know my boys work hard as that is what they are measured on in their reports, but I really have very little idea how they are doing academically. As for alcohol, it is freely available in the house but neither DH or I are big drinkers so it hasn't been an issue. I don't have any objection to them having a shandy or such like at Christmas and special occasions. DS 1 likes it, DS 2 isn't fussed. They like a snowball (advocaat & lemonade) on Christmas Eve. Added bonus is that it makes them sleep so we can get the presents out at a reasonable hour.