Advice pls - DS (age 12) curious about smoking

[tearinghairout]

He has seen older kids outside school & youthclub smoking, also we have uber-cool neighbour who smokes & drives flash car (sometimes together!). They've done the anti-smoking thing at school, but he still begs all the time to be allowed to give it a try, says he doesn't want to 'be a smoker', is into sport, also hero Beckham (thankfully) doesn't.

My mum was put off for life by her dad making her smoke half a pack in one go. Not keen on him doing it under my supervision because a)it's illegal and b) he'll go to school & say he's smoked.

DH & I can't be too holier-than-thou because he knows we used to smoke, but gave up BC.

I'm afraid that other kids will offer him fags. Thoughts, please?

I had a surreptitious puff from parental chimney's packet once and found it unspeakably vile - so there is some hope in the aversion stakes. Similar issues with alcohol I suppose.

We always said what we though for ourselves and let ds decide for himself - fortunately he made the right choice, but as with other things they have to make their own decisions.

As to legalities - offence to buy cigarettes over the counter while underage - and offence to sell them of course. Not, however, an offence to 'supply' in the way it is with illegal drugs - so giving a cigarette to a 12yo from your own packet to smoke at home is OK. Similarly with alcohol - entirely legal to have a 12yo drinking a glass of wine at home with a meal even though it wouldn't be allowed in a pub.

Find some really disgusting pictures of what health problems it causes?

if you do decide to let him try one, make sure it's an untipped gauloise or some such, and smoke in an enclosed space. the whole thing. then perhaps show pictures of tar soaked lungs. if you don't, mates will push them on him anyway and he will feel more obliged to say he likes it. oh, and don't let him 'bumsuck'. caught 13 yo ds with fag and made sure she inhaled deeply. she doesn't smoke. as yet.

haunting picture of a man who smoked

and another

Thanks, people. Seems best to keep trying with the aversion therapy first. Those pictures are horrendous; I'll save them for when it's necessary. If he's not put off - I remember my friend's dad used to smoke Capstan untipped, yeah they certainly put her off smoking and that was only 2nd hand smoke!

I suppose you're right to say that they have to make their own decisions, it's just that he seems so vulnerable. But if this is the worst of my teenager problems I shall be v. grateful...

Charliebat - Thanks once again, I've just gone back to the pics you sent and read the story of the guy who died at 33. It's completely horrendous - and they smoked after the funeral! If that doesn't put kids off starting then nothing will.