Seriously, how do I get my teenagers to not live like pigs?

[zippyandbungle]

I would love to say their rooms are their own and nothing to do with me, however, I have no cutlery and getting seriously down on bowls. I went into the bathroom this morning where three glasses are perched on the sink and dirty clothes on the floor. Last week I found a twix packet and half a biscuit down the side of the cushion on the sofa.

They have both been reasonably tidy and respectful of communal areas in the past but it does feel like a battle everyday to ask them to move their bag/coat/shoes/cup/plate.

So, advice on encouragement or sanctions that actually work in your house?

Wait five or six years til they leave home?

Twix and biscuits - stop buying them if they can't be bothered with the trip to the bin.

Glasses and stuff - no dinner until they're all found and washed clean.

And the general message 'I am not your cleaner, house rules are blaa blaa because I say so. No negotiation. So go for the easy life and JFDI ?'

I no longer round up plates, bowls and glasses but I sometimes comment on them when a collection builds up.
Yesterday
DH to DS2 " there is a rumour that there is an encrusted porridge bowl in the bathroom"
DS " the rumour is true"

Funny I just found an encrusted porridge bowl under my seat in the car, obviously breakfast on the run with DH one morning.

Oh yes we had a pasta bowl in the car last week. He did cook it himself though

My DSs live like pigs, mostly in their own rooms. I have no solution or inspiration to offer.

Their own pigsty is fine. Unless it smells.

But if you can't stand it, declare in advance you're going in and anything and everything will be bagged for the bin or dumped on their bed.

Teens don't like not having access to somewhere to lie down to recover from the stress of staring at a screen for hours.

Just stop doing stuff for them if they can't at least make some effort.

My DS is the same but only in his own room. He manages to clear up in the rest of the house. Occasionally I have a shout-fest and threaten to bag up stuff and throw it away ( have actually done this once so he knows I mean it). He knows by now it's down to him if he wants to live like that.

Eww. My teens are at uni now but they aren't allowed to take food upstairs.

Invite their friends round? Especially those of the opposite sex? Used to work as motivation for me as a teenager (still does actually!)

ohno all friends are also pigs according to the oldest the girls rooms are the worst, and the youngest tells me that her friends parents follow them around with a silver dustpan and brush. meals aren't aloud upstairs but snacks do tend to go up with the promise of bring the stuff back down. I'm generally in bed before them so don't get to see if this happens but obviously it isn't.

Tell them if they do not tidy up their rooms within a specified time you will take a photograph and post it on Facebook.

I threatened my daughter with this last time the floor was strewn with knickers and it worked a treat.

Ooh I like that idea.

Mine aren't actually too bad (although I do go plate rustling from time to time )

Maybe your own cutlery and bowls in a locked cupboard?

Not quite the same but ds1 went through a phase of leaving his banana skins wherever he'd been sitting I told him if it happened again I'd leave it in his bed. It did so I did.

That stopped it

When we run out of crockery/ cutlery they all get a sarky text and the kitchen is closed until everything is returned (and until I can be arsed cooking again). Sometimes I treat myself to a takeaway just rub it in!

And I also hide a couple of essentials for personal use!

No food allowed upstairs in our house. Water only. Snacks/drinks/TV dinners allowed in sitting room but they tend to enjoy hanging out in the kitchen with whoever's about while they rustle up their own life saving ready meals.

Maybe I am being too smug too soon. They're 13 & 15

I did once post a picture on FB of the glasses that had accumulated in the teenager's room. We had entirely run out and I asked him to bring any he had down. There were about 30! He never eats in there.

Generally, I don't moan about his room. If I go in to chat when he's in bed, my inner dialogue is looking at the chaos going 'ohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod', but I don't say anything. I will dart in and open windows during the day.

He does manage to voluntarily strip, wash and change his bed at least once a week and I spied him vacuuming in there over half term. He's clean, but bloody messy.

someone else is posting about mice in the house because kids are too filthy and entitled not to take dirty plates back to kitchen and wash up.

no food upstairs. End of. They help with washing up. End of. No washing done unless it is brought down. In fact train them to do the washing.

your house, your rules and your internet password!

Make clear lists of what is expected.
Have a no food or drink outside of the kitchen/dining area rule without your permission. (People who clean and tidy up after themselves can earn that right.)
Spend time making them pick things up and taking them to the kitchen. Show thwm how to load the dishwasher, the washing mashine, put things away, hang up wet washing, vacuum, clean the bathroom and kitchen, etc. These are basic life skills they need to demonstrate....If they can't manage this kind of thing and basic courtesy around the home, how can they expect to be trusted to drive at 17? It requires organised thinking to drive, and respect for other road users, pedestrians and property on a much larger scale. They demonstrate their maturity and capability with small things like dirty mugs.

Dock pocket money to pay for a cleaner.

Tempting...If you are feeling particularly desparate you could post pictures of all the stuff you find on their facebook walls every day. (That could backfire though of they decide to do something similar to you.)

This is all very familiar, wrappers, cans, food, used cups and glasses, missing teaspoons. I am not really addressing this issue as I should, because I have a cleaner who goes in their rooms and cleans up, but I know that is crap, and just lets them get away with it.

If it helps my DS (15) was the same! Pigsty of a room, not too much of an issue with food/plates but glasses squirrelled away. Depends If I was in the mood to nag or ignore. Recently he's got a gf, and seems smitten. Now she visits, miraculously his room is regularly tidied and kept clean! She's not in his room much but we do allow them to sometimes watch to in there, then randomly run upstairs for made up reasons ( strict open door at all times policy in place) new problem is the chemical warfare via Lynx ??

No food upstairs here. DS (16) does take crisps and chocolate bars up to his room, but puts the wrappers in the bin. He isn't allowed to take up full meals.

I think I have got off lightly with DS (16). He seems to collect a day or two of mucky socks and undies, then will pile them all in to the laundry basket.

I've asked for a bedroom sweep for glass ware and cutlery each evening before I start cooking. If it's not done I don't cook. It seems to work so far. Living room ploy is piling everything they leave in the middle of the floor jenga style. I don't comment or acknowledge the pile. It grew for two days then got put away.