Boyfriend obsession

[teenagetaxi]

My dd is 14 and has been going out with the same boy for a year now my worry is that they spend all their time together and even when they are apart they are texting/messaging each other

Last night I took my daughter out to the cinema for some mum and daughter time and she spent the whole movie texting her boyfriend. We ended up having a huge row as a result and she ended up leaving the house at 10 at night stating she wasn't coming home. Eventually managed to bring her home

When we talked she said she wanted to make it work with him long term and implied she never wanted to break with him. I'm particularly worried as dd was adopted by us at 6 yrs after years in care and she has in the past been diagnosed with attachment disorder. Is this level of relationship normal at her age or is this part of her disorder - has anyone else seen this with their dd at such an early age?

Very sad for you, I am not an expert my any means but exactly the same thing happened to a young (adopted) daughter of close friend of mine, I am afraid there wasn't a happy ending (she went from one 'intense' relationship to another, often with very 'unsuitable' boyfriends, ended up having a baby very young and not being able to care for it).

Sorry, that is absolutely not what you want to hear but I guess it is not uncommon for children with attachment disorder. Hopefully someone else can give more positive advice.

My DB got together with his girlfriend at around that age and it was much the same - they never spent any time apart. If she wasn't at the house his phone would constantly be going with text messages and it was a nightmare when we went abroad on a family holiday.

However, they are still together now at age 25 and 24 so perhaps it's not always a recipe for disaster!

Having had 4 teenage daughters I would say that this is quite a normal part of being a teenager. DD3 met her boyfriend at the age of 14 and they are now married and have a son. Does your DD have some girl friends as well? I always encouraged mine to keep up their friend relationships so that if anything happened they still had friends, but teenagers are very intense with their feelings and communicating. Mine have all gone through stages of being totally attached to their phones and we have had many "conversations" about how this is seen by others and the rudeness of it.

I also understand your concern about the attachment disorder - DD4 is adopted and has similar issues. If she has been able to make a connection with a boyfriend then I would see this as a positive step in relationship making. DD4 struggles with any sort of level of relationship other than a very superficial one.

If it does not last with your DD and her boyfriend, then just be prepared to pick up the pieces.

I remember wanting to spend every single moment of every day with my boyfriend when I was a teenager, and we'd spend any time we had to be apart texting each other or on msn messenger.

I think it may be normal to an extent, or maybe I wasn't normal - we'll see what everyone else says

And the boyfriend is now my husband, although I know that is more unusual as early relationships aren't likely to last.