Ds girlfriends parents are out tonight . . . .eek ?

[Mumwithteenageboys15]

My ds is 14 nearly 15 looks 17 ! He has a lovely girlfriend of a few months .
They are very touchy feely when they are together - she came for tea last week & cuddled up on sofa afterwards . All fine . BUT I've discovered she's inviting him over to her house tonight with a wink as her parents are out . .
So do I assume some sexual stuff will happen and talk to him before he goes , say nothing , stop him going . . . Advise please x

Not necessarily penetrative sex, but I can imagine that they will be exploring at that age.

If DS is 14 how old is the girl?

Could you have a chat with him beforehand about not doing anything before he feels ready to and before she feels ready to?

I had a dream that DS was grown-up, and I had to have this chat with him the other day, and he's only 2! Good luck! I'd emphasise that mutual respect and enjoyment are key, and go over the possible consequences of (even "safe") sex e.g. STIs, pregnancy.

Make sure he understands that anyone with whom he is engaged in sexual activity should be someone with whom he can also have the above discussions (remembering that in the instance of an unwanted pregnancy he we would ultimately be bound by the girl's decision).

This is what I would cover. Hopefully some experienced people will come & add to what I've said.

How did you find out that "she's invited him over to her house tonight with a wink as her parents are out"?

You do need to speak to him. I know it's not easy, as I have recently had he same conversation with DD1, who is 15.

You can't stop them having sex, if that's what they want to do, obviously. All you can do is ensure that he understands the issues around unwanted pregnancy, STIs, personal boundaries and so on.

He may well not want to have sex, and his girlfriend may not want to have sex, either. He needs to be clear that just because one of them wants it, doesn't mean it will happen - both have to want it. So he mustn't feel coerced, or that he has the right to try to coerce.

Good luck.

She is 15 in a few weeks

Yes I want to, it's finding right words to have best effect . .

At that age, any wording is embarrassing for a teen, but it does need to be said. I'm lucky that I've a few years to wait yet (DS is 8) good luck

Say something, in a positive 'I know you probably want the ground to swallow you up but I have to say this...... Have a nice evening..'

They usually explore before having sex. So that's prob going to happen. I left condoms in my sons room and said they were there if needed but please don't rush into anything.
I didn't want to encourage but wanted him to be safe if it was to happen.

Alternatively, you could take the view that they are only 14, and he can't go over for the evening if there is no parental supervision. Especially if you are unsure as to whether the girl's parents are aware he will be coming over.