First post: my partner's daughter has been cutting, drinking, excluded day from school, continuous detentions and now arrested for shoplifting. Dad struggling to know what to do, poor r/ship with mum who drinks and has own issues. I've been in dad's and her life for 7 years trying to provide safe environment every other weekend. Usual terrible divorce stuff: blame, financial probs etc but dad now able to have some conversation with mum, who regularly drunk and unable to cope. My problem is not being core parent, how can I help child without being accused of interfering? The kids have grown up with bad language, alcohol and lack of boundaries. Dad and I have calmer environment and some boundaries but live 30 odd miles away and there is a lot of defensiveness on both parents' sides so difficult for me to help. I have no r/ship with the mum, never met. My feeling is that the issue is not being tackled and the big loser will be this child.