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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DS1 who is 17 wants us to buy him drink for a party

32 replies

HMF1 · 13/10/2014 16:56

I am very conflicted, he thought vodka, but doesn't have any experience of drinking, if we were going to get him anything I would prefer it to be lager or beer, but no one drinks that apparently. He has been going to parties & only drinking soft drinks up till now, so I am not sure why he has suddenly decided to drink alcohol, peer pressure? I don't want to be heavy handed we have alcohol in the house & he is a sensible kid, he is also well aware that his parents drank at parties before they were 18.I am also very pleased that he has spoken to us about it. I would appreciate any thoughts from anyone who has been through this already.

OP posts:

chocoluvva · 14/10/2014 23:28

I sympathise. The relief of my DD getting good grades in her highers then getting an early offer of a uni place; my main worries up until she was 17, was quickly replaced by worry about parties/drinking/being out late/the bf. Now I'm worrying about her being okay at uni. Will it never end.....?

I believe you when you say he hasn't had much in the way of alcohol up until now.

But I don't think there's any point in trying to tell a 17YO that they're not allowed to drink spirits or whatever when they're out. It seems like closing the door on them telling you stuff.

Heyho111 · 15/10/2014 22:52

He is being honest with you. He can get it easily if he wanted to.
Larger or cider is drunk at parties.
I would also be surprised if he hasn't drunk at parties before.
You buying it gives some control over their intake.
Your lucky he feels he can talk to you.

Original poster

HMF1 · 16/10/2014 19:50

He came back from his hiking yesterday & we have had a bit of a chat. Yes he has had a few drinks at parties already, but when we were discussing it I realised that he has been moderately drinking , I have been up when he came home & he was OK. Discussed it with DH & we have agreed to buy a 50cl bottle & he can take half to the party & use the rest at the Halloween parties. I asked him about brands & he said own brand was fine, which is good as the vodka we buy my BinL for his birthday is extortionate.

OP posts:

chocoluvva · 16/10/2014 20:30

Well before anyone flames you....

DD was ill for a few days before moving into her student place. So she asked for help with packing. This involved her giving me instructions from her bed. (poor DD) One cupboard revealed a half-drunk bottle of vodka which she had bought herself aged 17 when she was abroad. And there was an-unopened bottle of spirits that her 18YO friend had bought for her that she was saving for when she moved out.

So I think the idea that you can control what they drink when they're 17 is unrealistic.

Original poster

HMF1 · 16/10/2014 22:15

Well in 4 months he will legally be able to buy it for himself, he has agreed to the things we have suggested & he will be in someone's home not a pub. His crowd are a pretty sensible bunch( they all agreed no parties from the end of March to the end of May when they were sitting their highers) & they look out for each other so as far as I can be I am relaxed about this.But thanks for your comments above its good to get advice from people who have"walked the walk"

OP posts:

chocoluvva · 16/10/2014 23:36

And it's perfectly possible to get very drunk on beer, wine and cider. I was terrified of the idea of my teen drinking spirits originally but she had 'graduated' to vodka from beer, wine and Kopparberg.

Knowing that they look out for each other is (kind of) reassuring to me too.

very glad that my teen claims she doesn't want to go clubbing though

3teenageboys · 20/10/2014 14:53

My advise is to keep them away from Vodka. I have three boys between 19 & 16 years. It is hard keeping DS3 drinking under control. He has an inbuilt homing devices to people who have alcohol and going to parties.

My worry with vodka and teenagers is that it might not be genuine. The older two have taken it on board when I point out about cheap shots, if its too good to be true then it is!! That they could end up in hospital in multi-organ failure due to drinking fake vodka.

DS3 just ignores me and I believe that the areas his friends are from, they tend to buy their drink from local corner shops. He is aware of the dangers and he tells me he only drinks spirits that he knows (very kindly brought me home the remainder of his Bacardi bottle - I have no idea where he got the money from).

I think Vodka is a lethal drink and really wouldnt advise any spirits, but they will find them.

MY OTHER PROBLEM IS coping with other teenagers parents who are in their 30's & EARLY 40'S (i'm old ....apparently ). These parents have been at the party (which when I ask are the parents there - he honestly replies yes) but they are drinking with the kids..he thinks their cool....good laugh....hand out cigs...and well myself and his father are well .....not cool...because we are spoiling his fun.

So trying to control alcohol intake is something I have had to step back from. I dont think he will come to his senses and I have reached the stage where I cant stop crying over him.

so my answer is what I tell myself, I am dont buy spirits and that is as much as I can do.

Good Luck its sounds as though your beautiful boy asks your advise and consequently will probably listen!

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