advice on DS 15 please...

[Fooso]

Please advise… My DS is 15 (year 11) and is a lovely boy, but he’s reached a difficult stage and seems more interested in how skinny his school trousers are than his grades! I’ve tried so hard to impress how important it is that he focusses and works hard but I’m so frustrated. He has to get a pass in maths to stay on at school in sixth form and without him putting the effort in that is looking unlikely (its not his strong subject so he needs to work hard!).. Ive had an email from his German teacher today saying he’s had detention as he was misbehaving and not doing his work. The teacher said he likes him but needs to focus etc. What more can I do? Am I being too soft – do I need to start taking things away ? or do I just have to accept its his path and I can’t control it! I’m so fed up of nagging…

I lost it with my 15 year old last night. I messed up my education, had no input from my parents, took me many years to get professionally qualified, and I'd like him to learn from my mistakes. He doesn't want to.

I've told him that I expect 30 mins work per night, even if it's surfing the net to look at apprenticeships, alternatives to sixth form. He seems to think he'll get in automatically, so I've printed off the requirements - min 7 A-C passes, and min B for subjects he wants to do at A level. Asked him to look at alternative schools, but I end up spoon feeding.

If he could get a GCSE in Minecraft, it'd be A*, since that's how he spent his time until the laptop disappeared on Sunday.

It's actually really difficult for anybody to get focus, when they don't know what they want to do in life. I tell him his job is to keep his options open.

Losing temper and talking through gritted teeth got the message through. For last night. I occasionally sit with him, cajole, bully, switch off router, and I don't have the energy every day ...

You can't tell them. My lad did nothing until the last term of his gcse's then he realised it was now or never. It was so frustrating. I feel for you. Make an hour a day for homework. Stay in the room or near by. Make him sit there even if he's staring at the wall doing nothing. This gets them used to having revision time. In time hopefully he uses it - hopefully sooner than mine did !

No advice, but you have my sympathy as this is all very familiar. DS is 15, Yr 11 and despite being very bright and with potential to get good grades, seems intent on doing the absolute minimum. It is frustrating, worrying and tedious. He is convinced he can write an english essay whilst simultaneously gaming, Skyping, Facebooking and listening to loud music. I can turn off the internet, but then he needs it for homework (that he isn't doing). He is not keen on sleeping much either, so our current fun task is trying to get him to bed earlier. I'm just hoping that he is suddenly going to 'get it' and start working properly and hopefully before it is too late!

OMG...... Your're all talking about my DS. I know how you all feel. Had another sleepless night worry about his future. Bright lad but never does any work so will massively underachieve in his GCSEs. He'd get a A* in bloody skateboarding though. I've tried making him stay in and doing some work with no success. I've printed off exam papers for him to practice. they are gathering dust in his room. Shows no interest in his future at all. He showed me some history 'homework' he showed me. A few paragraphs of simple sentences that my 8yo could have written. Shocking. Been in full time education for 11 years and that's all he could come up with. Parents evening next week. Should be fun :-(

hi jules14, my son was exactly the same! however, the sixth form that he applied for gave him an 'unconditional offer'! I was furious and told them so. He completely stopped revising and when I commented he asked me did I under stand the meaning of unconditional! He did get his gcse's but no A's or A*, and so on results day I handed the teacher I had complained to about the unconditional offer his results and asked him to sort them out! He informed me they were no longer offering students unconditional places.

You have my full sypathy....we are now on AS and well...same old same old.