Any advice on dealing with a dumped teenager?

[4thoctober]

My first experience of this, she's rather cut up. She's 16, been with him 9 months. I'd sort of seen it coming, he wasn't very enthusiastic about meeting or being with her recently. I've told her everything will be fine, and time will make it less significant. But I feel my words are inadequate, but I don't want to overtalk about it. I'm trying to take my cues from her.

Kind words would be appreciated.

Buy her a funny DVD, box of chocs and tell her you're there if she needs to talk, we've all been through it but time is a great healer. xx

Thanks, that's a good one. She's our with friends this afternoon so that will help, but I can dotthe Dvd and chocs for later.

Sorry to hear about your dd I remember teenage break ups!
I don't know if this advice would be any good. But perhaps do something nice to take her mind off it like go and get your hair/nails done together? Or suggest a girly sleepover so she can be supported by her friends?

Loads of cosy treats that remind her home is a sanctuary and resource. Make favourite meals, curl up with good funny films, have popcorn, paint your nails together, tell her we have to learn to surf the waves but we always have each other!

Well from memory of my own teenaged break-ups I never wanted to feel it was really OVER in the early days so I was always grateful for my mum refraining from saying things like "you're better off without him", "I never thought he was right for you" etc.

I think just listening is the key thing. Lots of supportive and specific comments about how wonderful DD is. Focusing on her crying as much as she needs to with you/friends and then getting on with being fabulous until a)he comes crawling back or b) she moves onwards and upwards (much more likely but she may not be ready to hear that yet).

Yes, no need to say anything negative about him! They may get back together!

No, wouldn't say anything negative, I liked him, just said if the chemistry isn't there it isn't there. I've also cautioned about letting a breakup taint what was a really lovely 9 months. they both had a great introduction to relationships with each other and that's important to remember.

Her best cure is to talk it out with friends. Your the supplier of biscuits, tea and hugs.
A treat could be a hair dressing appointment and or facial. Something to boost her confidence.
Everything mums say seems to fall on deaf ears - what do we know ! Hugs and biscuits and a Sunday cooked dinner with all the trimmings. It's horrid for them.