Older teenagers and helping around the home

[xyz1000]

I have a almost 17 year old lad.
I am just wondering what you mums/Dad's expect as far as helping at home? Bedrooms / laundry ect
Also are you still giving them pocket money if they have part time jobs?
I seem to be hitting a brick wall at the moment with it all so any suggestions how you manage would be greatly appreciated.

Mine do virtually nothing round the house I choose my battles and this was one I decided not to fight. I ask. If they don't do it I do it. Over time as they mature they will start to do what I ask.
It depends how much they earn. If they only work on day I see this as supplementing pocket money.

Virtually impossible to get my DS (16) to do anything. I wonder how this situation has evolved. I ask, he often just says no. Lots of people will judge me for this, saying I need to impose sanctions, however I think heyho may be right. I don't provide much for him, no ironing, no lifts, just basic stuff that fits in with the rest of the family.

I stripped his bed the other day and told him to put clean sheets back on. After a night of sleeping without bedding he finally relented.

My 15 year old does very little TBH.IIRC I did very little at home as a teen though.

I put a rota up in the kitchen every week with one chore per day per child e.g. take bins out, make dinner, hoover carpets. It changes every week, so they get a wide range of tasks.

I give them pocket money for each day they complete their designated chore. Some weeks they are really good and do everything so get 100% pocket money; other weeks they are not so good so get less money. (Mine don't have PT jobs, so they are dependent on the pocket money from me.)

DD1(16) helps cook, makes weekend lunch, hands out washing, puts her laundry away sometimes and is generally helpful if asked to tidy.

DD2(13) grumps and does bugger all.

Hangs out washing (and notices it's raining and rescues it).

DD2 wouldn't notice if the washing was on fire, despite the line being right next to the trampoline she lives on.

Mine are 15 and 13. They vaguely keep their rooms tidy, put their own washing in the basket, otherwise it doesn't get washed. I iron, and put the pile on their bed (13 yo ds puts it away, 15 yo dd moves it to her desk ). They clear up after dinner, and when they get in from school unload dishwasher and reload with breakfast things. If they're home during school holiday and we're at work they'll generally get given one extra task a day to do - put washing on or empty bins for example.

DD has had advanced warning that from next year she will be expected to do her own washing, and the year after her own ironing

Pocket money wise I think we're going to go for a middle ground. No more rises (normally goes up 50p a week every year) once they have a pt job but still get some pocket money.

Ha!
My daughter (long time left and just become a Mother herself) was great ...cooked, cleaned etc etc
My BOYS....My eldest, early thirties now...was terribly untidy, couldn't/wouldn't cook...left home at 17y...came back for year when a relationship broke down and 'lodged'....was fine then.back living with a new gf..now is a great cook, clean...does everything... remembers what he was like as a teen....keeps telling me now...my younger boys will be OK and will do it all as well! I hope so... they are flipping messy, untidy, I have to nag to bring washing down etc...so yes...I'm guilty too...I end up doing it when I do my chores etc....Yet if I leave a whiteboard with instuctions on it they will do the tasks asked...especially if financially rewarded!!
Each to their own I say...don't think there is a right or wrong....tbh...so I've learnt!! :)

Mine (now 18 yr old has just left for University, but up until then), 15 yr old and 12 yr old

Are responsible for own rooms - they keep tidy or not, but I'm not doing it for them
Putting away own clothes
If they want anything ironed they can do that if they wish to
They all cook the family meal at least once a week.
Obv. get own breakfasts, lunches
Whoever isn't cooking is expected to lay the table / get everyone a drink / unload the dishwasher
Everyone clears their place after a meal, obviously

Then, when asked, to do odd things as they need doing - maybe go and empty all the bins round the house on bin day, or maybe help bring the shopping in then put it away if I happen to do that when they are at home, or maybe get the stuff off the line or out the tumble drier, but all those now and again, not regularly.

Yes, they keep pocket money until the end of Aug after they are 18 (ie when they can leave school) whether or not they have a job - the incentive of having a job is surely to be better off, it doesn't make sense to then claw back the minimal pocket money I give them. That said, compared with most on here, I don't give a lot of pocket money.

Thank you for your replies. It has been useful. Has made me realise that I probably am expecting too much!
I will do more of it myself.... would work out a lot less stressful than having to keep nag .