Has anyone else had a house party for teenagers?

[Spidermama]

We're having a house party on Saturday with around 40-50 15/16 year olds. It's DD's 16th birthday.

I'm very nervous. Obviously. But I'm also all for parties because these are the times in life we remember.

I'm looking for any tips from people who've done it.

DH is going to be bouncer and we have a list of names. It's going to be 7pm til 1130pm. We're going to go to the pub at the top of the road for a bit to give them some privacy.

Any tips or shared experience would be greatly appreciated.

No the house is still standing though not back to full cleanliness and DS's room smells like a pub.

It was a night of highs and lows. Mostly highs. Probably about 60 or 70 teenagers at its height. Too many. (Lesson 1: 50 is enough. I will be MUCH stricter with door policy next time). Friends of friends came. Most of the night they danced, snogged and came in and out of the house. DH most on the door, I kept him company much of the time but had to keep going back to guard our bedroom where my Jack Russell was NOT enjoying hearing the house full of wild, drunken teenagers. (Lesson 2: Give the dog one of his calming pills beforehand).

You mumsnetters are so wise and said all the right things in this thread. Thanks to you I did provide plenty of food and OMG can they eat!
They were also sick. There was sick in the bath, and in the shower room sink. DH cleaned it up God bless him! That was rank but par for the course I gather. Scary as it is, most of them arrived absolutely steaming. They have pre drinks or prinks.

There was a real low point. Someone stole money from peoples bags. I found that profoundly depressing because it was such a lovely party otherwise and most people there were really nice, polite and respectful to us.

That cannot be allowed to happen again in my home. We needed MUCH better control of the door. Next time we'll have a definitive list and if their name ain't on the list they're not coming in. End of! OMFG! etc.

It's a couple of years before DS's 16th and lessons have been learned. The best part is that there were scores of teenagers having a really great time, dnacing, listening to good music and just hanging out together in a (relatively) safe place, which they don't get to do nearly as often as they'd like to.

Thanks so much for all your help on this. I've enjoyed this thread and hearing your stories.

We've had a few house parties and I'm always amazed by the empty bottles of spirits I find afterwards. YY to crying girls, puking boys shouting along to old music and lots of outdoor activity.

Mine love them though but I find it a bit stressful.

wow. I admire your tolerance. I hope your daughter does too.

so sad they can't have fun without swilling until they vomit, and they have to get hammered even to arrive. That's what I find depressing. Glad no-one ended up in hospital.

I also hope you didn't have anything nicked, and am glad to hear the house survived!

Ah well, nobody died.

We have NEVER had an indoor party since DD turned 14. Hire a hall, invitation only with checklist, no plus ones, bag and coat check, and when we got to the 18th we'd got it down like clockwork.

We have had up to 40 or 50 for 15 or 16 year olds parties and it has been fine. They generally bring their own alcohol. In one case, older brothers turned up to keep an eye on things, which worked pretty well. We provided pizza etc. and (mostly) soft drinks. And sorted taxis or a place to crash for anyone who needed it. We are pretty rural though so plenty of space and pretty unlikely to get overrun with random people who saw it on Facebook. And no, we didn't go out, but we did stay out of the way.

provide soft drinks in small bottles and cans - they are more likely to drink those than pour out drinks into cups from large bottles.

Agree with everyone else - don't go out

I have just caught up with the thread. I am glad it went well and that the food was appreciated.

As for the theft of money, that was probably by someone who wasn't properly invited but tagged along with friends of friends seeking the opportunity.

Thanks for this thread, it has been really helpful.

Since reading this forum helped me plan my DD's 16th bday party, I thought I would post my top tips for holding a (relatively) successful party for teenagers, with alcohol:

The 3 most critical things:

-Having our daughter as invested as we were to not having drunk kids at her party was key. She sent links to a private FB page with the details of the party and a request NOT to bring any alcohol. A week or so before, a few kids mentioned that they were going to bring some, so she cut their link to the page and told them not to come. They didn't.

-Don't go it alone. It would have been very difficult for my husband and I to manage 35-40 kids on our own. Luckily, we had the dad of one of the kids helping us. You need to recruit at least one other parent, preferably more, preferably big, tall people. Worst case, hire a bouncer or security guard.

-Do not let people leave the party and come back. We stationed an adult just outside to keep the kids inside and supervise the ones who went out for a smoke. Kids who leave are likely to smoke pot or drink alcohol they may have stored outside - then return and cause trouble. If you let people drift away unsupervised, you lose control

-we rented a village hall rather than using our own house. Next time, I'd consider organizing a cleaner to come tidy up afterwards rather than us having to do it.

-we provided lots of food - hot food moved better than cold

-we provided 20 75-cl bottles of French cider (5.5% and 3.5% alcohol). When it was gone, it was gone.

-we asked everyone to write down their name and their parents' phone number as soon as they arrived.

-monitor all entry ways to the party and take all coats and bags. No exceptions. Even so, we didn't realize there was another entry and some of the bags were accessible until it was too late...

While I am not going to be doing this again anytime soon (sorry, younger son!), we feel it went as well as can be expected. A few girls got drunk and two kids got sick outside the hall. We confiscated a bottle of vodka in the first hour from one boy and broke up a pot party on our village green. About 20 kids spent the night at our house and we had to take another bottle of vodka, some cans of cider and some alcopops off them - even though we clearly said NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE. My daughter was in tears, she was so disappointed in some of her friends. A few crap kids can spoil the whole party.

On the positive side: All the kids were polite, even the ones we had to reprimand for bringing vodka, and nearly all of them remained pretty sober throughout. We were relieved that no one threw up inside the house, no one got falling-down drunk or seriously ill, the police weren't called and everyone seemed to have a good time. It was over at 11.15 pm. The 20 or so kids who spent the night at our house all slept in one big room and used one bathroom, which limits the mess. They didn't sleep much but they were well-behaved. We gave them a bunch of croissants, tea and juice then next day and they were all gone by 10.30 am.