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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Angry teenage boy

7 replies

IrianofWay · 02/10/2014 09:47

DS1 is 17 and he is so angry all the time. He has always had a bit of a temper even when younger but could bounce back and be cheerful quite quickly.This is different - it's a kind of constant smouldering resentment. I found myself responding to him in kind and he was getting worse - I have stepped back and tried to be more sympathetic. it's worked in that he's opened up more about the things that make him angry but it hasn't helped in that I can see his anger is totally disproportionate. He seems to assume the worst of everyone and can't be persuaded to take a different view.

He flunked his GCSEs back in 2013 and he is now doing a course in Furniture Making - he has been given the chance to get some paid work experience which may well lead to an apprenticeship - something that is rare as hen's teeth. He wants this to work but is being so bloody negative about all the preparation he has to do. I have told him it will be worth it, I have told him he needs to be patient but he resents his tutor, he resents being told to come in extra days to get some experience of working with the workshop technician, he just seems to resent everything. He has done some paid work over the summer but seems to bloody resent that too!

I remember my brother being the same at this age and giving my mother hell - in fact their relationship has never really recovered. And my nephew who is 18m older is acting the same way apparently. I just don;t know what to do to make things different.

The other factor in this is that I suffer from depression. I discovered recently that my brother does too and, like me, has done for years. I wonder if it would be worth seeing the GP about this for DS.

OP posts:
Heyho111 · 03/10/2014 00:16

Your DS sounds like a typical teen.
Buy the book. Get out my life ..... But first take me and Alex to town.
You can get it on amazon.
I promise that you will feel so much better once you've read it. It explains what's happening to the development of their brains, how this causes them to act and how we should respond to them.
Give it ago. There are other books but I read this one and found it really useful. .

ChaosK · 03/10/2014 08:51

HI,
Yes he sounds like a typical 17 year old - just like mine in fact. Can't be bothered to put any effort into anything, unable to see the bigger picture or the future...absolute nightmare!
The "Get out of my life book....." is good and worth a read. So is "Yes your teen is crazy" by Michael J Bradley". It is more in depth and helpful, IMO.
Remember, this is a phase - (been 4 years so far for me) and it will pass!

IrianofWay · 03/10/2014 11:17

Brilliant! Thanks

I guess my nose is a little out of joint because I thought he'd be the exception. Until about 6 months ago he was still giving me big hugs, enjoyed being with me, was a really mummy's boy TBH. I knew that wouldn't carry on (and shouldn't) but I didn't honestly expect him to turn into a total mysanthrope. Doesn't help that all his mates really like me - pisses him off no end Grin

Have ordered the book. Many thanks xx

OP posts:
soddinghormones · 05/10/2014 06:53

We have one of these Sad - he's very unpleasant to live with at the moment and as he has no real plans for the future (doesn't want to go to uni, can't be bothered to organise a gap year) I'm not feeling v optimistic about the near future

I know everyone raves about 'Get out of my life ...' but tbh I don't find it very useful. Yes, it does a good job of explaining what's going on inside teens' brains but doesn't give much in the way of techniques to help parents deal with things

LastingLight · 05/10/2014 17:41

Depression could present as anger. Does he have any other symptoms? Loss of interest in activities he used to enjoy, withdrawing from friends, changes in eating or sleeping habits, constant fatigue, irritable, lack of motivation, feelings of worthlessness.

IrianofWay · 05/10/2014 17:53

lastinglight - some of those things yes. Changes in eating habits is hard to tell as he has recently stopped eating meat. He gave up playing his guitar and skateboarding but that has happened more gradually over the last year. No withdrawing from friends. Yes to lack of motivation. Not sure of feelings of wortlessness. He would be almost entirely nocturnal (if we let him).

soddinghormones - sorry to hear that. I must admit I wish someone could tell me what to do. Steps 1, 2 and 3.

Having said all that things have seemed a little better in the last few days but who knows.

OP posts:
LastingLight · 05/10/2014 18:06

I think it's worth chatting to your gp. Google symptoms of depression in teenagers and see if there are any more that rings a bell.

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