Hosting a teenager for 2 nights a week - WWYD

[tiredandsadmum]

Hi, I've never been on this board but am hoping someone can help. I am considering hosting a teenage boy for 2 nights a week to help with his commute. He would have his own bedroom and would share the family bathroom with my DS age 9. His own parents are actively involved so I would not be involved with the school at all but would be the adult in charge for those 2 nights. Has anyone ever done similar with a child/family that they don't know? Any advice? It would help this young man stay at a school he loves and would truthfully help me financially. Any thoughts most welcome.

It sounds like you don't know the teenager. In that case, I'd let him meet the people he'd be living with, and if you're all happy, have a trial period for a defined timescale e.g. x weeks / a month. If you know the parents and share their values it could work well. I'd want to define up front what your role is, in what circumstances you'd deal with inappropriate behaviour , refer it to his parents or even call it quits.

Discuss with the parents how much freedom he gets with them and find some mutually agreeable rules

• electronics in bedroom
• watching over age TV / playing over age games
• time to be in by
• level of 'help' in house
• friends/girlfriends visiting

etc

Would say a discussion with the parents to draw up a list of rules. You will want some of your own.
Trial period would be good too

First and foremost, meet him and his parents (if you haven't already). Then a trial period, clear guidelines re what is acceptable/unacceptable behaviour and who is in charge should anything go amiss. Just what the others have said, really.

In addition, I might want to talk about food, water, and electricity, and would tell him I am an old crank, who is bothered by waste. He would have to be able to put up with this and tolerate a few of my foibles.

How old is he?
I agree, you need to draw up a list of rules (for both sides) and house routines first and then do a trial period.

Other than that, I would be fine with it.

There is a difference between a 13 year old who will need you to be 'in loco parentis' and an 18 year old for whom you can be a landlady.