Very intense friendships that then go cold, DD struggling with it all

[MyballsareSandy]

I'm mid 40's, have two DDs who are 13. When I was at school, which I know was a while ago, I don't remember friendships being so full on and intense as they seem to be these days.

One of my DDs made a new friend at school in the early summer, she seemed ok to me, came round a few times, I dropped DD off at her place etc etc, sleepovers, trips out. I noticed on BBM and instagram that this girl was very gushy and OTT (in my opinion), saying how much she adored DD, she was like a sister to her, would be best friends forever .... hearts and flowers and kisses on everything she sent. Seemed full on but I just thought things have changed and in a way it's quite nice to be so affectionate! Although I did tell DD to see other friends, not to be quite so intense.

Anyway another mum warned me about this girl, saying that her DD had been very close to her and she was full on like this and then suddenly dropped her like a hot potato.

Well this has now happened. DD has gone back to school after spending most of the summer with this girl and she doesn't want to know, she's moved on to do the same to a new friend, presumably. DD is devastated and just doesn't understand it all. She's a very black and white type of character and despite my chats with her about this girl, she still finds it very odd that she would say such lovely things to her one minute and then not want to be friends at all the next minute.

Any advice?

That's teen girls. It's horrid to watch. You're right in saying teen relationships are different to ours. Everything is different. They are more straight talking with parents, sexually active younger etc. it's a different ball game.
Your daughter needs to hang with new girls and feel sorry for the girls next friend of the moment.
Many girls have love / hate friendships. It's as if their friends are also their rivals. It's only when they are in long term relationships that this calms down.

I've seen that too, for the first time in Year 8 when friendships become more of a battleground than the supportive group of likeminded individuals they should be. I always told my DD that the vast majority of people you meet at school are only stepping stones to your true friendships which will come later in life. Treat everyone with respect until they prove they don't deserve it and in those instances, then move on from them. She has surprisingly wiped one particular girl from her life completely for acting in the way you describe above. It's the other girl who will come crawling, just wait.