Teenage Sons

[Cori1]

Hi

I'm new to this but hoping to link with people that have experienced my issues.

I have a 17 yr old son. Up to the age of 13, fantastic! Going past 13, one problem to another, problems with school, getting into the wrong crowd etc etc... His dad and i seperated when he was really young however have both participated in raising him and ensuring he had a good relationship with both of us while growing up and fully supported him with everything. We have however i think had different ways on approaches, i guess i'd be seen as the one from my son's point of view the one who made rules and tried to keep him right. The problems are, he constantly lies about things he doesn't need to lie about, if he told me, it would be easier (i have told him this).
He started college last year, rocky start but got through and really proud and pleased for him (made sure he knew this too) During this year he got a gf to which he has been staying with at his dads/her families home as i thought they were just too young and wouldn't allow them to stay with us.

Just before his second year at college starts, he announces via fb not even to me that his gf is 20 weeks pregnant, i'm gutted! I've told him i will support him through college and that this doesn't have to be the end for him but the baby is their responsibility, hopefully the right thing to do/say! He still lies about stupid things though and i worry this girl is stuck to him 24/7 not even letting him go to college on his own, she goes with him. He's been given a trial apprenticeship which is brilliant but scared between them, he will ruin it. How do i support him to make the right decisions going forward, i fear i won't ever have a normal relationship with him again and refuse to take the responsibility for the decision he has made to have a child.

Advice please! What do you do.

This is a difficult situation. It might be worth now letting her stay at yours so you have more control. Can you meet up with her family. Have a discussion about your son needs to get qualified to be able to provide for the baby. Set some simple rules. She can stay at yours while he goes to work etc. I think your son isn't talking to you as that's part of boys teenage development. But that's not great as he's hit adult world early.

Thanks for the response. I have agreed to this but not sure about the control part, will definately need to set some rules even if just clearing up after themselves. They seem to ignore this at the moment and i find it really disrespectful to both my husband and me, a bit like i don't know him anymore. My biggest fear is that this doesn't work out between them in the long run being so young. An even bigger reason to ensure he has some direction and a way of supporting the child in either situation. Maybe selfish but my main priority is still his future, haven't got past that yet. Not sure if thats wrong.