Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 year old YD two-timing boyfriend/has the shakes

8 replies

jessEmcaity5 · 21/09/2014 12:22

Hello,
got a couple of concerns so may post separately! First one..have found out that YD, who is a very complicated individual and has a tendancy to lie about a lot of stuff (what did I do wrong in her upbringing...case of nature and not nurture here?) is two timing her new boyfriend with her old boyfriend. Won't admit it but me, and her sister have found her out a couple of times. Realise I should keep out of it but it breaks my heart, new boyfriend is lovely lad, has just returned from works trip away for a week and cooked her roast dinner, gave her fantastic arrangement of flowers and wine cos he missed her. In meantime she is still in contact, and am pretty certain is still seeing old boyfriend . Been rumours before about her and boys and she always denied them but now I am not so sure.
Sister had a talk to her saying she would get found out and hurt and that it wasn't a nice thing to do and she just kept saying, in her usual sarcastic voice when you are saying something she doesn't want to hear,
"Alright then"

She is a very mixed up person I feel, and in fact we are going to docs next week as she has the shakes (hands in partic lately, and anxiety problems (no surprised if she running two relationships!) and always has had a job with the truth from a very young age, would say black is white if it suited her...and yes we did tackle it but it seems to have made no difference.

Anyone had experience of this..advice? :-(

OP posts:
jessEmcaity5 · 21/09/2014 12:29

....forgot to add, further more, worringly, refuses to go on pill (cos it makes you fat/mood swings etc ...or so she claims) and won't have implant (needle phobia/you can see it/it's gross...her words not mine)

Like a child but wanting to do grown up things...

OP posts:
ChillySundays · 21/09/2014 16:13

Hi Jess - just been on your needles thread, thought I recognised the name! I take it that she can't be trusted to take the pill? I know it's still a needle form of contraceptive but would she prepared to have the DEPO injection. It is every 12 weeks> i have it and they inject you in the arse.
I wish I could suggest a course of action for the two timing. Could her sister try the 'how would you feel if the boys did it to you' line?

specialsubject · 21/09/2014 17:47

she is very ignorant (as per her comments about the pill) and ignorant shaggers get pregnant. So that is the urgent thing to deal with. Will she use condoms at least?

sad for those boys,but they'll find out soon enough. That may also mean that no decent local will go near her once the word gets round. Would that be of any interest to her?

jessEmcaity5 · 21/09/2014 18:02

Re the two timing...her elder sister has had a word (she was two timed once and HATES liars etc)....didn't do any good as she wouldn't really listen to her.
Re the pill, and yes I totally agree with your comments...she is a clever (academically) girl and I can't understand her attitude. Her dad told her once he would throw her out if she got pregnant (don't think he would, though would be devastated, but does no harm for her to think so) No, she wouldn't have the injection, or the implant cos of the needles issue. Am hoping to bring it up at the doctors as she has agreed to have me in on the consultation (about her anxiety and shakes etc) She is a difficult person to talk to lately as she fires up very easily.

Anyone suggest any make of pill better than any other? Think some of the trouble is the pill made my older daughter q poorly (mentally)..she tried about 5 sorts but none of them agreed with her BUT she has gone for other method of prevention. Then ofcourse there's all her mates telling her different things. For ages she tried to convince me she had never slept with anyone (but I knew she had cos her ex boyfriend texted my phone by accident when they had a row and made it clear they had! She said he was lying..yeh, right....see what I mean about saying black is white?!)

OP posts:
ChillySundays · 21/09/2014 22:30

I know it is easier said than done but on the two timing side perhaps you will have to keep out of it and let her suffer the consequences
Although she has agreed with you going into the consultation are you sure DD will be happy to start talk about contraception? Is she likely to change her mind to piss you off?

I don't want to be negative or worry you but if if is something she might do you need a plan ready

jessEmcaity5 · 22/09/2014 08:22

No, we going to doctor to discuss anxiety, she wants me to come as she has been brushed off before now. Re the contraception, yes, already had discussed and I will prob slink out of the room , or let her go first without me. Trouble is, I feel sick with worry about her NOT being on anything...her sister and I bought it up yesterday and she seems bit more amenable...bought up all the girls who AREN'T fat who take it (god almighty, what is it with girls and weight...blame the media!)have also looked at the patch which may be a better alternative.

Yes,I agree, I think I will have to keep schtum over the two timing, not my business though feel so bad for present boyfriend if she is ;-(

OP posts:
ChillySundays · 22/09/2014 09:56

Good luck
My DD's boyfriend is lovely and I would be mortified if she started two timing him

febel · 21/10/2014 20:49

Just to update.....contraception sorted. She's been pretty vile this week...hope its not hormones and the pill...
Still think seeing old bf on the sly...not done anything about it ..don't see how or why should but don't like being lied to. Eg: said she going to friends tonight, at last minute, but had hysterics when I offered to take her cos dark (and involves walking down alleyway..where people have been attacked) and went mad at me. Said going out anyway, I couldn't stop her, and she would be fine. Seems to me she doesn't want me to know where going?!
Was v uptight...and I am now cos worried about journey in rain and dark up alleyway etc Do I just cut off and let her do what she wants (which I think she does anyway)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread