Please help

[saxxa]

I am really worried about my 12 yo girl. I think that she is depressed and has also seems to have anger issues, also I suspect she has an eating disorder. I appreciate that some level of acting out is normal for teens (or tweens, as she's still 12) but this behaviour seems to be far beyond what could be reasonably expected. I am excluding details for the sake of confidentiality but I am really concerned and our family is at breaking point. I would really appreciate hearing how other people coped. Will I need to make a GP appointment and get referred? What are waiting times like? Also, has anyone used the Relate family cousellng service? We can't afford to pay a lot and I know for marriage guidance etc. they operate a sliding scale.
Apologies for garbled message, am at end of my tether.
Many thanks.

Have you spoken to the school? There will be a school nurse and pastoral support team who will probably have a lot of experience with this. Aside from that, definitely GP. Xx

Thank you littlesupersparks. I have spoken to them, they don't have a nurse but they do have a school counsellor. Her tutor asked her if she felt she needed to see the counsellor and she said no, unsurprisingly; as she is very averse to discussing her feelings. I will try and get a GP referral on Monday, I guess.

Hi. Her school will have a councellor she should access. If she doesn't want to go through school go through your youth service they will have councellors too. It would also be worth chatting to the school nurse or gp as they can refer to services that can help her eating disorder and depression. Waiting lists for camhs is long in our area but school councellor and youth service is not much weight.
Ask support via your gp or go through relate. If it's your daughters difficulties which are causing stress in your own relationship you might find helping her may help your own relationship.
Teens do go through a difficult time in adolescence but it is very common that some need extra support that us parents can give.
They do come out the other end. I've seen the film, got the t shirt, nearly went insane and then we came out the otherside. Keep us updated.

Saxxa, I would take her to her GP first of all. If she trusts her GP they can have a good chat. My doctor will talk to my teenagers and won't disclose the nature of the conversation to me. She does this so that teenagers can trust her and feel free to open up to her.

Where I live there is a Family Resource Centre operated by our local Trust. I have contacted them and am awaiting a referrall. My 15 year old DS has anger issues and is also seeing a CBT counsellor on a weekly basis. This costs me £35.00 per sessions which I am having serious trouble paying for.

My son has ended up in police custody twice and I am extremely worried that it will go further. I am at my wits end. I completely understand what you are going through. It is awful and causes massive stress. I recommend that you read the book called Get out of My Life but First take me and Alex into Town. This book details how the world looks from a teenagers point of view. Talk to your GP and see what facilities are available locally. I would also talk to her school. I did this and she got a lot of support from her form teacher and the Head.

My DD aged 17 didn't have an eating disorder but some friends of her do. Talk to her GP, the school and the Family Centre. Don't keep the problems to yourself because you need support too. Best wishes.

One more thing, try your best to keep her on your side. When you are at your wits end keep telling her that you love her and would do anything for her. If you keep fighting with her you will only alienate her and create more problems. I speak from experience. Try your best to be nice to her even when she is being horrible. I didn't do this because I was trying to exert discipline. It didn't work. Being nice didn't always work but it did minimise the rows which were horrendous. Check out online resources. Don't think that you are alone.