DS (13) has been invited on holiday with his GF

[EJQuirky]

DS (13) has been invited for a weekend away with for his gf's 14th BDay (with her parents). I don't know whether to agree or not? They will have been together 12 months and have a really sweet relationship. I only know the parents to say hello to and by all accounts her father can be a bully, so I'm not a fan of his tbh.... any thoughts?

It would be a polite decline from me.

Definite NO from me!

If he was going away with another boy, then I suspect the answer would be "yes". I personally would phone and speak to them, explaining that you feel 13 is a little young to be away with his girlfriend and gauge what reaction you get.

Does he want to go? How does he feel about it? My daughter (at 12) has already had a week away with a friend's family and had a great time but I knew she was comfortable with it.

I'd make a point of meeting both the parents and having a chat with them about their plans. Then follow your instinct. TBH I've always tried to meet GF's parents at some point and then it's easier to chat about this sort of thing.

It would definitely be a no thank you for me. They are too young. You need to shield them for any mistakes they may make, that could affect them for the rest of their lives.

No. It puts too much emphasis on the relationship as a serious one. Which at 13 it isn't, or shouldn't be at any rate.

A resounding no from me too.

Definite no from me.

Just say no. If he's embarrassed, engineer a family event clash.

No.

Politely decline. Far too much pressure on a 1 year long 'relationship' between 13 y/os!

It is too much pressure. I would definitely say no. Does he want to go?

I think I would invite the family to my house or for a meet up and then decide. It wouldn't be a definite no.

Good god..No!

Is it No because the father's bullying, or No because it's a girl? Ok, if it's the former, but not really OK if it's just because shock horror it's a boy and a girl together.
My DCs have friends, both male and female and the sex of the person is irrelevant. However, as they call themselves bf/gf, what does your DS think? I wouldn't say a definite No as it makes the relationship more important than it probably is. I would just treat it like a friendship.

As for shielding them from any mistakes they may make that will affect the rest of their lives as timetoask said - welllllll..... that's a bit dramatic surely - her parents are there after all, and I'm sure they are more worried about your DSs intentions than you may be about her.

Is the girl an only child?

Parents on only children often try to find a "companion" to take on holiday so the child has someone to talk to and the parents can then leave the children to their own devices and relax more, otherwise the holiday can be awkward.

I'd decline on the grounds the father is a bit horrible - but your son needs to have an opinion. It could be very embarrassing for him if the parents decide he isn't right for their family unit or have very different social habits from you and he is stuck with them for days.

No from me too.

Thanks for your thoughts and opinions...It's the father's temper that bothers me the most about this and DS wants to go despite that. For example, he once grounded her for a week, including taking her phone and banning her from all social media because she was five minutes late getting home to walk the dog (I find that punishment too extreme for the 'crime' committed). They do call each other gf/bf but it is all very sweet and innocent, they hold hands but have not kissed so I am not worried about 'mistakes' just yet. DS and I have an open line of communication regarding sex and relationships and he is of the opinion that any kissing before age 15 is gross! I'm thinking I need to build a relationship with her parents before I make a final decision.

Also... yes she is an only child and I expect the companion thing is spot on. Her Mum and Dad think DS is lovely so I wouldn't anticipate any awkwardness to develop over a two day trip.