Help! Son miserable first days of BTEC...

[beelights]

My son, who is mildly Asperger's has just started college to do a BTEC Extended Dip in IT. He got good GCSE grades but he has always insisted on doing BTEC as IT is the only subject he is interested in. But only 3 days in and he is miserable. He finds the teaching a bit 'scattered', the transport demanding, and the other kids talking all the time during the class. He doesn't have friends there. He also says the teachers go too fast. He says now he just wants to do an apprenticeship to get 1:1 teaching/learning. He is really diligent and hard-working but has said the course is 'boring' and not practical. He has said this before when he is also stressed or nervous. I have been having texts each day with concerns about bus times, lost bus passes etc. He has never taken public transport on his own before (we live in rural area and so kids get driven to mates' houses etc).

I just don't know whether I should just go with his desire to get into the apprenticeship or be a bit tough and urge him to stay on. I can imagine him wanting to jump ship from the BTEC because he thinks everything will be magically better in an apprenticeship. His previous secondary school was a small local 'village' school a short walk away, which was quite academic and with small classes.

Any sane thoughts would be welcome. I just feel like crying for him, but want to try and stay calm and rational. Please share any experiences or thoughts. I really need something other than my anxious head to think about this.

I should also add, he is one of a twin, and has always been socially and emotionally much less mature than his peers. He is a gentle soul and not outgoing. So to some extent, he still turns to me for 'permission' to do things. Hope that makes sense.

I'd say it's too early to say what the course will be like. Three days they are only just settling in still doing ice breakers and setting up.

I don't think an apprenticeship will be as good as he thinks. It will still be day release to college so still in groups and not 1 to 1.

It's a difficult time for them all adjusting to a more self led learning style and being responsible for their own time keeping and transport etc so add in your sons additional needs and I think 3 days is no way near enough to settle in.

Hi the first few weeks of any course can be a struggle and often the older students are treated in a much more relaxed way than those further down the school system. This may tighten up if the group requires it or the students themselves may settle down but if possible it's worth giving it time to see if things change... Perhaps contact the teachers to see if this is how it will be. It must be very stressful to deal with new travel arrangements, a new course and new people but given it's been a long term goal perhaps encouragement to stay? Do the school/college know his needs and that he is finding it hard? Do they have support for students in this situation? Might be worth finding out what they can/will do to help rather than trying to do it all alone....good luck

Thanks for your thoughts. My sane head knows that it is early days, but it is a very emotionally charged situation for him and me! He is such a gentle soul but also feels things deeply while keeping it quiet. So when he texts madly I know something is really upsetting him. He was similar at secondary school, asking to be home-schooled for several years. I couldn't do that for him and in the end it worked out well for him to do GCSEs at school in a more social environment. I have spoken to his tutor and she was kind and understanding and said she would mention it to his other teachers.

He does need to give it a bit more time. But at the same time I know how you worrying it can be. My daughter (no SN) did not have a good time at college and I hated the thought of her being miserable.

Id advise you to contact his tutor, and explain your concerns, you should find them supportive. It is a very difficult time for students as the style of teaching is very very different, the students are given a lot more freedom and add to that you son is trying to navigate his way to college.
Give it time its a lot of change but hopefully he will settle but if he isnt settled in a few weeks time at least he will feel he gave it a go.
I hope this is helpful.

Thank you all. He has spent the evening head-down in his coursework. I think he might feel more engaged and enthusiastic when he gets some feedback and realises he can manage and do the work. In some ways, I feel it is better he tackles some of this now in a smallish college rather than leaving it till he is 18. Your words are very helpful and I will encourage him to make at least to half-term and see where we are then. Thank you!!

BTECs have changed this year and that might explain the teaching for now. They are generally very prescriptive and it might suit him to stick to it as he will know exactly what is expected of him.

It is a huge step to go to a new school especially from a small local one to a big one in town, he's probably just having a wobble. Try to keep him confident. Good that he is focussed on work anyway.

Thank you! I wasn't aware that the BTECs had changed. His college has excellent results for BTECS (majority leave DDD*) so I am hoping he will stick it as it gives him the choice of going to HE. Thanks for the tip about keeping his confidence up. His twin sister is really enjoying it and making new friends, but he is a solitary lad. Hearing that he is doing well will make a difference I am sure.

This sounds so much like my step son. He is now 21 and is on his fourth change in career/courses. He went for a car mechanic course and then he couldnt find a placement so he swapped to engineering. This lasted one year and he dropped that as it was hard. He then did A level which he just scrapped through and now he is off to Uni to study Games developing. he has insisted on living in halls and it will be a miricale if he survives or sticks at it. he has a part time job in a supermarket and his dad is terrified that this pays enough for his limited expenses and he will drop out at the first tough time that will come. Time will tell but we feel your pain

Beelight all I know about the BTEC changes is that there are more externally marked exams, Gove didn't trust the teachers not to cheat (interesting anagram there!) so essentially it's stricter.

My DS doing BTEC and he will not have exams. However there will not be numerous chances to do assignments. First attempt counts unless a referral grade (?) is given or they are a few marks short of the grade above.
Wondering if this varies from college to college?

As I understand it the changes are the removal of multiple attempts at assignments, so under the new rules if an assignment isn't passed first time it can't just be corrected and resubmitted as was often the case before. If a reattempt is allowed (when/if this is allowed will vary from centre to centre) it has to be a different assesment.

Chilly you are probably right about the assignment system, I probably misunderstood what they said at one of the open days and that was a while ago. I don't think the teachers even knew exactly themselves at the time. Probably a good things, will give BTECs more clout. They are really hard work but unis don't seem to trust them.