What time do your 13 yr olds go to bed?

[AdoraBell]

As in lights out and sleeping?

Mine have just turned 13 and one of them feels she should get a later bedtime.

TIA

9.00 lights out 9.30 ish. You can only sleep if your brain produces a hormone called melatonin. Teens sleep cycle means it's produced later at night. If they go to bed before it's produced they won't sleep. Their sleep cycle means they wake later as well. Let her sleep in on weekends to catch up. This is very typical development.

She tends to go up at 9.30pm, messes around and the aim is for lights out at 10pm. From what I can gather many of her friends are more like 10.30pm!

When DD1 was 13 it was lights out 9pm, awake for school 7:30.
Just turned 15 it is now lights out ~9:30.

Whatever time she goes to bed it always takes her ~45mins to get to sleep. Moving bedtime just makes getting to sleep later.
When we adopted her age 8 it was not unusual to take 60-90mins to get to sleep. It took us 4 years to get into a better pattern.

Contrary to advice above, we don't let her wake up more than 1 hour later at weekends otherwise it disrupts the routine.

When she was younger she was always very grumpy in the mornings as she couldn't get enough sleep. Since we cracked it she's been much better, and we are loathe to risk it again. We do sleep later in summer holidays but then adjust again over the last week.

Many teens get insufficient sleep.

Thanks Heyho I understand that but was wondering how far she's trying push the "I'm a teenager now" thing as she is clearly tired. We don't do early weekends normally so she does catch up then.

One issue we have is that her twin sister is about 18 months behind in terms of development so she is still ready to sleep at 9 and DH assumes that is normal because he miraculously bypassed the teenager stage of course

Another issue is we're we are, Latin America, midnight is considered early

X post, we have to leave home at 7.30 for school so she needs to be up by 7 at the latest and that's becoming a problem for her.

They've always been good sleepers until very recently. I think peer pressure is beginning to a part as well as natural development.

My dd is 14 on Sunday and goes to bed/lights out at 10pm. We changed the bedtime about six months ago, before that it was bed at 8.30, lights out at 9, but they were both (we also have ds aged 15) very restless after bedtime so we moved to to later bedtime to see if they got off to sleep better. It seemed to work so that's what we use right now. However we are still off school (I'm in Canada and we have a teachers strike right now) and getting up at 10ish, so we'll see what happens when they are back at school and getting up at 7 again!

They are both pretty compliant about bedtime, so I think we've got it about right for now.

Dd has to leave for school at 7.00am so bedtime is 9pmlights out 9.15pm.

I honestly don't know. She disappears up stairs between 10 and 11pm (if she hasn't hidden in her room all evening), but she reads, messes on her phone, watches YouTube or just fetches up in a giggly heap with DD1(16) for a bit.

So long as lights are out at midnight and DH doesn't complain they are impossible to get up at 7am, I keep out of it.

Generally at the moment both are going to sleep 10.30-11.30, but DD1 was midnight always at between 12-14 (as I was). She seems to have found Y10 tiring and is going earlier than DD2 some nights.

As I say, I tend to leave them to it. I learnt when DD1 was a toddler that she knows how much sleep she needs, interfering ends in tears, mostly mine.

I think the thing that makes a big difference is what time they get up. dd (14) heads up at 9:30 so she can potter about and have lights out by 10. She gets up at 7. I think she needs a bit more sleep but when she was going up earlier in July she was struggling to get off to sleep, so I think she, like many teens needs to sleep in later in the morning.

Yes, DD1 find other people stressful (not one for peer group friends), she needs pottering and being in her own space time more than she needs sleep.

I'm much the same, as a teen I read until midnight most nights because I needed that other world to cope with the twats at school.

Dd 13 phone on charge downstairs at 9 and bedroom tv off at the same time. Lights out 9.30.

Ds 14 as above except he is allowed to read for as long as he wants as he has trouble getting to sleep. Usually he puts his light out by 10 on a school night. Weekends and school holidays he reads until later.

Phones confiscated at 8:30 then telly and SCHOOLWORK NOT ON LAPTOP till 9:30
Lights out
You should always have an hour off screens before attempting to sleep

Dd1 is 13 and goes up to bed at 9. I have never enforced a lights out time with her as she is pretty good at doing it herself sensibly.

Most nights she is asleep when I come up at 10.30ish and she gets up most mornings without me needing to do more than go in and say good morning!

Ds1 (11) however has never been good at getting to sleep (been on prescribed medication for it in the past) so is often still awake when I come up, despite no iPad after 7 and going to bed at 8.30. He is generally a bugger to wake in the mornings.

I do think it's quite dependant upon the individual child as a result!

However I send them up relatively early as they are away from shite telly and restricted really to reading which I think is better for getting off to sleep. Also, selfishly, it means I can watch MY shite telly

Lights out at 9.30, and up at 6.45.

I'm another one that doesn't really know - I kick DS1(16) and DS2(14) to their bedroom around 9ish, and as long as they aren't being loud or distracting (small flat so their room is just down the hall) I don't give them a deadline. On the whole, lights are usually off before 11pm, they don't tend to stay awake for the sake of it and they both get up at 7am.

I think another problem I have is that 90% of her homework is Internet based and mostly group based too. Hardly anything is in book form, so she's frequently on the computer researching or emailing/texting classmates until bed time. And it is actually work related, I've checked what she doing. So it's difficult to enforce the hour off screen rule. Then there's the needing to go to classmate's home/have them here to do group study 2/3/4 times a week it's a bloody nocturnal society

Then she's stressed because I won't let her answer texts that are still arriving after 11 with classmates doing homework.

My DC were good fantastic sleepers from birth to 12. Straight to sleep in their own beds, no fussing and never any waking up/coming into our bed. How times change

He is supposed to be in his room at 10 and going to sleep, but in reality I think it is usually midnight before he actually gets to sleep He has to be up at 8, so sleeps in really late at the weekends unless he has an early match.

DD(15) has real difficulty getting to sleep before 12/1. She is usually up in her room relaxing by 11. She wants to try only working downstairs so that her bedroom is just for relaxing and sleeping. She does put her phone/laptop out of the way when she is trying to go to sleep and is going to try reading in bed (which she did do when she was at primary) She also tries to catch up on Sundays (has to be up early for her coaching job on a Sat)

I really do not know how parents can MAKE a teen go to sleep at 9.30 if they are just not ready to

DD2 is 13 and goes to bed about 10pm, awake at 6:50, and about 11pm-11am on weekends. DD1, 16 sleeps 10:45pm on weekdays, and around 1am on weekends. Schooldays she's up at 6:20am, weekends between 6:50 and 7:30, normally on the earlier side. She's been like this since she was about 12 - a morning person who doesn't need much sleep.. I'm super jealous of her!

dd (just 13 this week) is rarely asleep when I come up around 10.45 / 11ish.
She'll have started heading for bed around 8.30 most nights.

I have 13 and 14 year old DSs.

Bed time depends on what the have on in the evening but we generally say off screen at 9 if they are at home. Supper (Milk and a snack) then up to bed to get ready and read - lights out usually about 10-10.30. They stay up later at weekends (11-midnight). During the week they need to get up at 7.30 and generally are no bother - one shout and they get up, have breakfast and shower etc.

At the weekend they get up about 8-8.30 and go straight on screen - I don't wake them, that's just when they get up.

Between 10 and 11 pm.

Thanks again everyone

Dd is 13 and it's about 10.30 later at weekends. She's up at 6/6.30 during week but has long lie ins normally on a weekend.

DD is in bed for 9.30 but she is allowed to read (books only) until she feels tired and turns out the light. I reckon this is probably 10ish.

I removed the battle over bedtime by removing it -she goes when she's tired

Somedays she goes at 9, somedays she goes closer to midnight

As long as she gets up for school without me nagging I don't mind