Single mum, only DD turns 16, does anyone else feel the loneliness creep in?

[mollister]

As a single mum with no dad present ever and no immediate family I am feeling my 16 year old pulling away as she becomes independent and has a better social life then me. It's all great and she is a very loving child but I already miss her and am absolutely dreading the uni time, it feels like a ticking bomb inside me. It is such a strange feeling when you stop being the centre of their universe. Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes, but not to quite such a degree as I'm married. It started earlier for me, round about when ds was 14/15 and as you say going out independently a lot and then the party years started.....

My solution was to broaden my horizons. DH is quite quiet and would be happy not doing much socially so I joined a choir, a health club (where I do dance classes 3 times a week), changed career to start my own business, and started two voluntary jobs.

The more you do for you, or for other people, the less of a bombshell it will be when your dd leaves for Uni.

Thanks for that. Yes, I do need to get out more and in fact she is very pleased when I do go out as I think she worries about me being on my own which I really do not want. It's the shock of not having to worry if I am out that I need to embrace.
I have three jobs and am a JP so hard to fit any more in but I could stir my stumps in the evening and not take to the sofa with the glass (or two...)

Yes Mollister I know what you mean. Now longer the centre of other people's worlds, we have to re-land at the centre of our own world, and that can be a pretty tricky landing! I really miss the emotional connection i had with DC (and still to a degree with DD); the sense of mattering to someone, as well as the practical 'play mate' to do things with, have fun with, talk to.

My DH isn't a big talker so it can be pretty quiet around the home now. I think women friends are the way to go!

I feel like this. Dd is 17 soon and the hardest thing for me is being judged by her in so many things (usually being found lacking!) whereas when she was little there was automatic acceptance. My opinion now counts for very little compared to her friends'. Apparently they 'come back' to you when they have children..