I'm worried that all teenagers do this... HELP!

[vicwills123]

I have recently heard my 15 year old son talk about this thing called "banter" amongst his friends. After he rather harshly insulted one of friends and I questioned him why he did this he said that it was just "banter". Please could you help me with this as I am very worried. Thanks!

Have you really not heard the word banter before?

Yes they all do it. Banter is just chat

Banter is teenage boys being not very nice to each other, but between friends in a friendly way. It's how they bond.

It can sometimes go a bit wrong and someone get really upset, but they don't tend to mean harm.

Yes, they all do this. What exactly are you worried about ?

wow, my son bob has been doing the same iswell, he was in a skype call and said a few racial jokes like "Ching chang chong ping pang pong", "Were mah noodle go" and "Piwate devede" I asked him why he said this and he replied "Banter"

I don't think banter is restricted to teenage boys either.

I don't hear DD do that, BUT I do hear DH and his daft mate 'banter' endlessly. Oh, and I do it with my bestie too. It's normal innit?

Grown ups banter too but they're more practised, I think, in how to not let it get out of order. It's a fine line between a joke and what can hurt.

True, abit like when I told my son I loved him, that sure was some funny banter.

We do this at work. It's all in good humour.
Blokes banter all the time. They insult each other and call them names. My brother does this, my ex does it, my friends husbands do it.

What a strange post!

Surely if one can navigate mn they are capable of performing a Google search for a six letter word?? The mind boggles

Sometimes banter crosses the line where teens are concerned. Some can take it more than others in my experience.

It's just what we used to call... chat

They definitely ALL do it!

"It's just bants, mum!"

I don't think think the OP is looking for a definition of the word banter, but reassurance that her ds isn't alone saying nasty things to his mates.

Can you tell us the insult without outing yourself/your son? Maybe there's a generational difference and what you perceive as insulting is not considered quite as insulting by teens.

If I had a pound for every time my 17 year old DS used the word 'banter' I would be a rich lady!!

I'm not sure if it's related but he and I also do this sort of mock insulting each other thing which is fine because we're simply messing about and it's ..."just banter"!!

Claudia how did your son get to his teenage years without realising that being racist is disgusting? Overdue a wee chat from you maybe?

And no, racism isnt banter. Its racism. Two different things.

Banter is warm and friendly joking. Racism isn't. Neither is constantly putting down your friends and being cruel. Calling it 'banter' doesn't make it more emotionally mature or acceptable than saying 'can't you take a joke?' to try and OK racist, sexist, brutal chat.

It's from the Inbetweeners (obviously I realise it is an existing word and not one they made up )

I hate it when people use "banter" as an excuse to say horrible things to other people. I tend not to stay friends with people who do this... You might want to warn your son that one day he might "banter" with someone who takes things personally...

Banter is fine, and very, very normal.
The skill is in learning when it is appropriate and where the line is drawn.
That's what you need to be talking about.

my 2 have banter at school, and dh has his "warehouse" banter, which, to my ears, is usually insulting one another with foul language!