What should I do?

4 replies

kkgirl · 21/09/2006 07:18

My DS is 12 1/2 but his behaviour has been changing so much recently.
Last night he came home from school and said to me that he was sorry that his clothes were so messed up but that he had "beaten the crap out of somebody".
I was really shocked, he then told me what had happened and where and to be honest I didn't believe that he had actually done this, because although he is full of big talk, 6 months ago another boy took my DS's new football from him and DS ran home crying. He is not a wimp and says a lot of things but I was shocked to think he was even saying this.

When DH came home from work I told him and suggested having a man to man talk later when it was quiet, which DH did. It turns out that it didn't happen at all and he said it to me as a joke.

I just don't know what to make of it, is it attention seeking or revenge to me - he has been grounded from the computer for not doing his homework and then not doing it properly.

Has anyone experienced this and offer any help?

OP posts:

Twiglett · 21/09/2006 07:26

Could it have been a joke that misfired?

Have you actually sat down calmly and discussed it with him and admitted your confusion over why he did it .. ie talked to him on the same level about it

I don't have teens yet but remember being quite difficult at this stage ..

Tortington · 21/09/2006 08:09

sometimes you have to pick your battles. i understand that only a few months ago he was truly your boy - now hes turning into a......teenagerrrrrrrrr

in this instance - and maybe for future reference - i think you should have looked bored and said " crap beating or no - your uniforms a mess - now you you will have to wash and iron it"

Original poster

kkgirl · 21/09/2006 20:12

Thanks girls

I did mention it casually to him tonight and ask him why and he said that he had had a bad day at school so had taken it out on me!!!!

Great DH, DS2 and DD all do that too!!!

Seriously glad he told me why and at least he knows what was wrong and might be able to sort it out a bit better another time, it must be hard with all the hormones raging as they do when you start growing up

OP posts:

skippydog · 21/09/2006 20:27

Well ake heart - it gets worse lol! I have teenage sons and 1 10 year old son and 80% of what they say is to test how you would react if he had actually done it!
I am on my own with the boys so it took me a long time to figure it out - but mostly it seemed to be cause their self esteem needed a boost - and unfortunately at that age being a 'hard man' gives street cred.
Believe me they grow out of it and if they know you are gonna be calm and ask 'leading'questions it soon stops.

Flip