What age do girls stop being so vile to eachother

[lucydaniels4658]

Getting sick and tired of the all consuming dramas DD and her friends have. Its been non stop in last year. Things are great for a week or two then they spend the next few weeks being awful. Freezing DD out ,slagging her off on social media etc . She has a large friendship circle with many lovely girls but a couple are leaders and seem to control the others . I feel like i'm getting to involved emotionally and feel like throttling them (dont worry i wouldn't do it only in my head). I know DD is no angel but she is almost to nice to her friends to keen to please . She is currently going into year 9 .Someone please tell me it calms down a bit on the drama front?! A few a year fine but nearly every week HEADACHE.

DD does horse riding and swimming . Sadly she doesn't see school as a means to and end school is a nightmare but that's another story altogether she requires a huge amount of support to access the curriculum and as a teen is finding help hard to receive due to how her peers perceive that. DD is like an addict with her phone its in her hand 24/7 so frustrating . She has some out of school friends which makes the holidays slightly more bearable.This week has been ok touch wood :-) shes spent quite a bit of time at the stables .Teenagers are a minefield some people say "best years of your life" pppfftttttt not now!

I don't know how you force her to put her phone down and disengage, it has to come from her.

DD2 seems to have quite deliberately decided to see only her mate who's at a different school and mess about on instergram with girls from gym.

She says schools dramas can wait until Sept.

Sounds very sensible to me good for your DD. My DD can't bear the games when everyone goes cold on them but wont say why and then call like theres never been an issue.Its a very confusing time for them.

I think for all her desire to fit in, she did enough peace keeping at primary to know when to leave them to it.

That's interesting Elephant. Dd is 12 and has hardly seen anyone from school, although going to her friends tomorrow. She's made a few new friends in year 7 but no really good mates.

It's good to read that friendships will change over the next few years. Dd seems to be friends superficially with lots of people but hasn't managed to get to going out outside of school.

By the way, she's doesn't seem to fussed and is enjoying tHe break from the dramas! I like to fret about it though, having been a slightly awkward lonely teenager myself

I think her class are realigning their groups. Because of setting she fetched up joining an established group from a different primary. That group is growing up at different speeds. I think will split into the quieter and the more confident ones once silly spats over boys cool down.

I don't think really firm, life long twos and threes will form until Y10 and GCSE sets.

y9 girls are notoriously horrid... partly hormones partly that they are not seen as the "younger ones" at comp partly boys....

year 10/11 girls tend to calm down a bit but really until she leaves secondary theyre all bitchy!

hopefully she gets herself in with a nice group of friends

this is why my DD only hangs around with boys.....it is really horrible

In my experience it got much better at some point in Year 11. Not perfect - some people just aren't very nice regardless of age - but there was a definite shift in dynamics and the various groups at school became much less cliquey. At the same time, the boys started mixing with the girls and it became possible to have opposite-sex friends: I'm sure that went some way to alleviating the bitchiness.

im 46 and have become involved with some interwork bullying with two other women so it never stops lol

Thanks for all your replies. DD has been quite happy in last few days spending time with other friends its just the first few days back at school will no doubt bring dramas. She has avoided the group after being cast out they are all sucking up now im hoping DD continues to blank them a bit or be civil.Civil doesn't seem to work to well. The group seemed to have upped the anti over summer being very rebellious had parents on phone in despair ! So good job DD was cast out !As a parent teenagers are a continual worry .