Hi everyone, I know this isn't exactly the done thing, but I'm a 17 year old girl who would appreciate some advice as to what to do about my relationship with my mum.
My mum and I have always had a fraught relationship; she had a very tough childhood. She has always strived to give me the best, whilst simultaneously piling on the high expectations and very high standards. I have one younger brother (13) who has severe autism, so understandably there are higher expectations of me. My mum goes through phases of being very loving, sympathetic, can't-do-enough-for-me, to not speaking to me at all.
After severe bullying in my GCSE year, I moved schools for sixth form, and my parents went through a trial separation thing, meaning I lived with my mum near to school, in a small flat, in a town where we didn't really know anyone. Our relationship became so strained; one minute, my mum was fine, then she'd scream at me, calling me a liar, pessimistic, ungrateful, failure, unable to keep friendships, lazy, etc. I was enjoying school but I was always anxious and upset because I didn't know what mood my mum would be in when I got home. Sometimes I felt like the parent dealing with the moody teenager. Started seeing a counsellor at school. A teacher noticed I was down and emailed my parents, so I told my mum how I was feeling. My mum moved out and my dad moved in with me near school. (My dad and I have a great relationship.)
Since then, it's felt like there's this void in mine and my mum's relationship, and I am desperate to reach out to her, but I just don't know how. I know she is in a lot of pain, and I know she is seeking help for her mental health, but I just have no idea how to fill this gap that's been left. Sometimes I feel like I've lost my mum, which I desperately don't want to do in my last year before I go to uni. :(
How can I reach out to her and go about repairing our relationship?
Thank you for reading. :)