DRUGS ...a massive problem!

[smileyforest]

I never believed I would have Teenagers caught up in drugs....How naive I am....and just makes me feel ashamed and a failure.....! DS just split from GF which has been hell....(and still is)....My boys are 16y and 18y...they go out and night..return next day and sleep....(divorced from their Dad who offers no help...youngest lives with him 50%)...My 18yo is the worse...moods...verbal abuse..etc...munchies...etc....does not want to do A levels in Sept...Please...what do I do?? Where do I get support from...I can't cope with this alone...its affecting my daily life...I'm off work with the stress of it all..
If any other parent can give me some advice/ help/ support...I would be so grateful....x

Oh smiley wish I could give some advice. I have been checking on here every day and reading back through old threads looking for advice. My heart goes out to you as I am feeling exactly the same - feel ill with it all. Hope someone comes with some words of wisdom. xxxx

Smiley I have been through this and it's horrendous. All you can do is look after yourself. Try to detach from the situation emotionally and hope that with time they will come through it. My Ds now 18 is so much more responsible than he was , though Ds 2 is now following in his dope smoking footsteps The stress will make you ill , try to be kind to yourself.

I agree with what Diesel says. It's a nightmare though. You don't want to feel like a spectator watching them ruin their lives. But you just can't make them do anything at that age.

I'm feeling very out of my depth with DH away, me working full time and two wild teenagers in the house. I often have a terrible knot in my stomach.

I guess we have to let them fail and hope they learn from it rather than falling further.

I tell you one thing. Mumsnet is far more focussed on smaller children. We need a site for parents coping with teenagers because I don't imagine we're the only ones going through it. The 'teens' topic isn't very well attended on here IME.

Thanks for support....Spider...yes....just need a forum...to 'chat' and offer that support directly about these teen and 'drug' problems...its all around us...and so easy to get hold of..I've had to report my boys missing to the Police.....gone last night ...with tent...cant contact them...not contacted me....got a supply of drugs...(that i know) and went....I've contacted SS too...as desperately need guidance/ signposting....someone has to help...Its so hard to look 'after yourself' when so worried...but I know I need 'my life'...my ex is just good at pointing the finger...both boys don't have a good relationship with their Dad...I work really hard to support us all...but off work with the stress...not able to enjoy the sunshine....just wish I was working...then the 'Sun' would shine......

Sorry about your hassle.
whats with all the ......?

Sorry Smiley. You sound like you're at the end of your tether. Their dad's not much use then?
It's so worrying when they're out and you don't know where and they don't answer the phone. However worrying doesn't help and I guess it's part of letting go.

Did you call the police and mention they were missing? It's run through my mind to do that before but I've never actually done it.

Are your work being sympathetic to your plight? Are you getting any help or support from anyone? Mum? Friends?

.....its just pausing as I think...thats all???

Oh and don't worry about what Pitt said. That was a pretty insensitive and pointless post.

Oh I find comments like that just so unnecessary....boys are back...its been a traumatic night and day...(the dots are not to offend). Thanks for supportive comments , so appreciated x
Yes getting support/ help thanks Spider :)

I so miss MaryZ's support thread as we did not seem to get comments like this.

Glad your boys are back smiley - hope tonight is less traumatic. xxx

Can only say it is not your fault that they doing all these things -at their ages what they do is their choice,their responsibility and you must not punish yourself by taking the blame for their behaviour.Do not let them walk all over you and contact local organisations or charities for help.

I know exactly how you feel. Eldest was a nightmare from age 15, until about 22. More with alcohol than drugs, but out all night, asleep all day. Dropped out of college, horrendous to live with. My ex was an incredibly lazy dad and left all of the parenting to me (and the wage-earning).
I don't know what made him change his ways, possibly just finally growing up, but he is now an utterly lovely, charming and a delight to be with. He's working hard for a degree, has a really nice girlfriend and giving good advice to his younger brother, who also became a nightmare aged about 16.
With him, it's worse in a way, as he was such a good boy until then, thought I'd escaped teenage hell with him. He's much more into drugs, too. I knew he was smoking weed as he stank of it, but of course would deny it when challenged. Then I found out he has been taking mdna (had to look it up, it's ecstasy) and acid. He is now at a festival and I am worried sick.
While my experience with my eldest makes me realise that if you hang on in there, the likelihood is that they'll come through it eventually I'm terrified of what could happen to him before we get to that stage.
I know my eldest is now appreciative that I never gave up on him. But the thought of going through all that he'll again for another few years is more than I can bear.