Please can you help. I have Ds1 DS2 DS3 DD4 at home and can't cope

[dirtmusic]

Hello. All 4 children are mine with the same dad. Normally things are fine but this holidays it is tough because DS1 and DS2 'left' home but are back now until September. Extremely selfish behaviour from all four; gaming/ watching until the early hours; demanding that I do things; complaining aggressively about the lack of food; leaving a trail of mess and being rude and unpleasant including swearing horribly at my face routinely. The house is disgusting. It is depressing. It is as if all four of them being at home together have mutated into grown up versions of themselves when they were toddlers. Is this normal? How much should I be disciplining them. How can I discipline them? They have no appreciation whatsoever of what I do for them. I am saddened by their extraordinary selfishness. DS1 is 21 DS2 is 18 DS3 is 18 and DD is 16. I want to run away.

dirtmusic - manning up is hard to do when you're faced with your bullying, adult children. I found this website incredibly helpful www.empoweringparents.com/adult-child-living-at-home.php#

I'm so glad you have your parents on board and on your side, OP. I have had a few tough moments this summer with all three DC (DSS1 (19), DSS2 (16) and DD (9)) underfoot with complicated conflicting agendas and huge food and laundry requirements but your situation sounds far worse than mine.

Stop running around after them - in my experience the more you pick up what they leave around the more they leave around,let hem sleep as lons as they want but when they get up and want things eg food tell them too late wait till dinner.Dont let them loose in the kitchen.There choice is to be slovenly ,you wont change that,but they will when you stop mothering them and spoiling the brats.When they no longer have a slave mother they will soon come round.Tell them bluntly you are their mother not their servant and if they want things they must earn them from respect and manners.