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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teens wanting to stay in room all day

39 replies

kenug21 · 27/07/2014 18:23

When I was a teenager I met up with my friends and I never seemed to be at home. I know times have changed and our teenagers are keeping in touch with their friends in a different way but my 2 children just don't seem to want to go anywhere - just sit in their stuffy bedrooms and watch ipads etc.
When I ask them to help out around the house they're always sooo tired! It just seems so dull - maybe I'm just missing them spending time with me - they're 12 and 14 yrs. I do occasionally have a gadget ban just to force them out of their boxes and they are way more pleasant. Am I being mean?

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 04/08/2014 19:08

DH always says if all this technology was around when he was a teen he wouldn't have left his bedroom either.

DS1 has been great today, a bit of gaming, listening to music, watching TV. then he took DS2 and his mate over to the playing fields for the afternoon, now he's gaming again.
He is coming shopping tomorrow (promise of some new football gear).

Puddin2103 · 21/07/2016 12:26

My 13 year old DD has gone from going out most of the time to staying in lots unless theres a social occasion with friends. I worry so much. My husband says leave her as she likes her own company. She is such a happy , pleasant , intelligent young girl and just lovely and i feel i should back off but cant

Cleebope · 24/07/2016 01:41

Puddin most of them go through this phase at 13/4, it could last a while but don't worry too much. They need their own time and space at that age- it's healthy. She will eventually emerge. When she needs to. Make the most of your new found 'me time' while she is holed up to watch what you want and relax a bit. She wants her own headspace and seems well balanced so roll with it!

forcryinoutloud · 02/08/2016 15:42

Same same same here, I feel all your pain. DS 17yrsonly goes out to play football one or twice a week and he's currently kicking a ball in his bedroom (would perhaps be outside but surprise surprise it's RAINING.AGAIN).

DD 14yrs has no friends very near and usually spends 90% of time in room. At least she does read but both of them seem permanently glued to their phones, even when supposedly watching something on TV they are gawping at a phone, drives me nuts.

I just feel this generation is wasting so much time on phones, ipads or whatever instead of lifting up their heads and looking around. The poster who mentioned her DD at the train platform and everyone on their phones rang a bell with me. I was at a beautiful seaside castle last week, gorgeous view for miles but were any of the people looking at it? No, all just sat on a bench with phone in hand. Sad.

Re reading your post Kenug, yes to the 'soooo tired' thing, it's like dragging a lead weight around isn't it. You are most definitely not being mean, you are being a good concerned parent! Good luck to you,me and all, hang in there.

Lilaclily · 02/08/2016 15:54

The thing is this is the first generation to have Internet on phones, tablet's, laptops etc so we don't know what effect it will have

Nousernameforme · 03/08/2016 11:21

my dd is always in her room alone windows shut curtains drawn and i'm sure it has an adverse effect on her mental health so i take screens away and then she sits in her room alone with windows shut and curtains drawn doing nothing which one is preferably in that instance cause i don't know. She occasionally helps if told to but usually argues instead. I have bought and researched craft things, bought books, we do stuff downstairs she could join in games etc going in the garden hell if she even just sat in the garden on her screens that would be something. We live near a library she has a card i give her money to go out she won't refuses to visit any family members her only friend is exactly the same. I don't drive so can't exactly drag her out anywhere. Suggested getting a job HAH her face when i said that. So please tell me fluffyellowbird where i am going wrong what should i be doing instead I am out of ideas and energy i've given up

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/08/2016 11:30

I don't work in the school holidays so I have tried to go out somewhere with 15yo dd most days. We have been to the coast, trip to York, walked a friend's dog, shopping and visited family. Nothing expensive but it has been nice.

Dd has been out with her friends twice. I suspect if I wasn't available to spend time with she would watch Netflix in bed all day too. As it is, she is happy to spend time with me.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 03/08/2016 11:32

I do think that if you are going to remove screens and leave them sat alone in their rooms I think it's reasonable to suggest alternatives or offer to spend time with them.

Nousernameforme · 03/08/2016 12:27

but i do she says no to all of them or more acurately "mmmmnah"

Newes · 03/08/2016 12:51

Mine is fine if there is something planned but that's not possible for every day. I just try and get 2 or 3 days out in a week, plus shopping, dog walks etc. He's not overweight, he's chatting almost constantly to his rl friends via Skype.......I don't know why I am worried when at his age I had to be surgically removed from my room where my escapism was reading and music. But I am. Comes with the job

HormonalHeap · 03/08/2016 22:13

It isn't always possible to limit screen time. My ds 16 has a severe gaming addiction which I have been fighting against for years. He never leaves his room other than to go to school. I know only too well how it takes the place of relationships and so many other things.

I'm basking in success though now as I bribed him to go abroad with 40 other 16 yr olds for a month, sleeping under stars in the desert, hiking, water rafting etc. He doesn't want to come home.

I'm sure he'll be back to his old ways soon but that sunlight on his skin and social experience were worth all the aggro.

FoxieRose2020 · 17/05/2020 15:32

My son just turned 10 years old and is in his room ALL the time now. Only comes out to food, ect. What to do? normal for this age? I miss my baby.

Andi2020 · 17/05/2020 16:06

Not really normal at 10 bit young if on games console move it to where you want him.
Does he not have school work

Aramox · 22/05/2020 06:18

Zombie threads with stuff like ‘go out with a bunch of mates’ look so weird now

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