Son puppy fat

[blondebird69]

My DS is 13 in August. He is not very tall probably about 148-149 cm so under 5ft (as I am just). He hasnt hit puberty yet as he has no underarm hair and not sure about anywhere else. However he has got quite a belly on him and people have started to make comments. I am concerned about it and wondered will he hit puberty soon, will that make a difference?
He is not the healthiest eater even tho I try and encourage him to. He wont eat salad or drink much water. He doesnt do much excercise either. Not sure what to do. He has had a hard time at school and I dont want to see him bullied.
To make matters worse DD who is 27 months younger has started puberty and is nearly the same height.

Whilst it would be advisable to encourage him in exercise and healthy eating, it has been my experience that boys tend to build up a bit of a tummy before starting puberty and stretching out of it.

Clearly if they have always had weight issues then that may not be the case. Both my sons went through similar, there is 13 months between them, the younger one has always had a more solid build and he hit puberty first, when he was 10/11 he was definitely overweight, he is now 12 going on 13 and slim as a whip and nearly 5'10. Eldest was always fairly slim but never that really skinny way that some boys are. He really started to get a belly and put on weight at 12 - now just turned 14, he is over 5'10 and has slimmed down a lot - trousers and shorts he was wearing last year are falling down.

I'm sorry to hear he is having a hard time at school, I think i'd be speaking to the school about that and without letting it harm his self esteem further, I'd maybe try to use that as a lever to get him more active for his own benefit. Do any of your local gyms do a teen gym club? Neither of my two are into competitive sport/team sports, but they do swimming/lifeguards and Judo and go to the gym once a week or more if I can persuade them. They also enjoy just scootering about our estate.

If they want crisps or sweets. I don't deny them, but I give them the cash to buy them and make them scooter up to a shop about a mile away and eat them at the park - at least then they have earned them and they see it as a treat rather than exercise :o

Try to eat healthy as a family and throw out all sugary cereals, cookies etc. that is sitting in your cupboard. It is very very difficult to get fat as a teenager on brown rice, vegetables, chicken and wholemeal bread with cheese and salad.

Stop all junkfood as well. If he wants it he needs to buy it from his own pocket money, which needs to be sparse.

He will be slim in no time.

My skinny son of 14 has never been a can of excercise, But at 13 he was tubby with a big belly. He has since shot up in height whilst going through puberty and is now a completely different shape. From what I understand, they need a reserve of fat to fuel this massive growth.

Fan not can!

From what I understand, they need a reserve of fat to fuel this massive growth

I agree and I think it helps stop them getting stretch marks too.

Even my neighbours 12 year old ultra sporty son (sports scholarship - plays competitively in Rugby and Cricket, always on the move, goes to the gym etc) has gone through the same - he is just starting to stretch out of it but I couldn't believe it was the same whippet of a boy when I saw him about 6 months ago decidedly stocky.

Thanks everyone I am hoping that once he grows in height he will slim down. He is the youngest in the school year August baby and is nearly 13. I think he is worries about his height as he does not want to be small but was never a tall child at any age. I am tiny just under 5ft but DH is 6ft 3 and the rest of the family are tall. Am hoping in 6 months or so puberty will kick in as he does like to compare himself to the other boys in his year who are taller and look older.

I thought you were talking about me then!!

Hope so blondebird it just hits them at such different times and makes such a difference. My 12 year old is also 13 in August and he towers above most of his peers but is still very much baby faced (with a bit of a mustache) some of my elder son's friends have been 14 for a while and are still very much boys in build and size and there is the odd one that could easily pass for 16/17. Despite their height, neither of mine look older than their age. Eldest's friend has to take ID with him to get in a 12A movie but has been 14 since January.

My ds put on a lot of weight at 12/13 and didn't start growing into it (height wise) until shortly after his 15th birthday. Not all ds get this 'pre-puberty fat', but it is fairly common I think and not a sign necessarily they will remain overweight as they grow.
ds is 18 now and very much in proportion / not carrying any spare weight, but I was recently looking out photos of him over the years (for his 18th birthday) and was quite shocked, looking back at how round his face was and how tubby his tum was at that age.

I'm really pleased to read that this is 'normal'. Two of mine having developed a little bit of a tummy in the last year, having been skinny beans before. It coincided with us being less active as a family, so I have been beating myself up. I shall go and feed them up instead!

This thread is making me angry!
Unbelievable how many of you are trying to rationalise the fatness of your children. There is nothing normal about fat children or teens at any age, whatsoever!

Right, let him eat his fattening food for another few years until your chubby child has transformed into a fat teenager. Only by then it's to late to instil better eating habits because the wrong eating has become even more ingrained and we all know it's extremely difficult to exert some influence on our growing teens.

Stop rationalising! A chubby pre-teen is problem that needs addressing.

Might be your experience, but it's not mine.

No-one in my 'genetic' family is fat or has ever carried any weight - indeed, growing up we were all bodering on the worryingly 'underweight' as my nieces are now. We've always eaten normally without lots of excessive biscuits etc, but never, ever has anyone in my genetic family dieted.
I've given my own dc a similar upbringing - no obsession about foods - a bit of what you fancy is fine, generally healthy diets but no obsession. but it is a fact ds grew outwards before he grew upwards. His genes of course are also mixed with my dh's genes. I worried about it at the time as I'd never come across it before, but, was lucky enough to be reassured by other MNers and other RL friends at the time, and they were right - just after he turned 15 he started growing in to his weight and he is not fat now. In fact we were swimming yesterday and I was thinking how he's going to be attracting the girls when on holiday this SUmmer (me, biased? Nooo )
You are clearly projecting some of your own issues here MRJJ rather than looking at the wider population.

He was not a problem that needed addressing - he continued to be active, I continued to feed him as I always had, and he's looking good now at 18

My ds2 stopped growing and got quite plump in his teens, also slow to hit puberty.He ate what we ate, he cycled, walked to school. His twin brother (fraternal) shot up, was still skinny, but had deposits of fat (moobs if you will). When he hit 17 the weight dropped off as he grew. (He also was short in a family of tall ones) went to doctor, who prescribed hormone shots, he was very self conscious about his height and weight-he dressed like a "fat boy" for years.
No one is saying that there isn't a problem with obesity, but in teenage boys ( as the poster was specifically asking about) there can be "puppy fat" before puberty kicks in. But how about addressing the issue as a family, do activities together, choose and cook healthy meals? It couldn't hurt.

MRJJ007123445667687876 - just, wow. You're an eating disorder-on-a stick-waiting-to-happen. I read the first line of your horrible post and was expecting a dressing down for us being worried about the weight of our children, not the ridiculous comments you made.

I'm guessing you are not hugely educated in this area. Our bodies do things for a reason sometimes.

Ds was really quite podgy between 9-13. Then he just stretched and strettttccched. He's Now 6 ft 5and 11stone . In fact during a recent bust up with his girlfriend he went down to 10 1/2 stone.

Do not flame me but I am with MRJ on this one. You have to be careful that your chubby pre-teen does not turn into a chubby teenager. If they are eating a load of crap now and carry on that is the way it could go that way. There are no doubt mums reading this thinking my DC never grew into their weight. Perhaps they need to post
The OP says that diet and exercise are not good so she needs to nip this in the bud now.

I cook healthy meals from scratch. I buy crisps and biscuits but not a load. If my DC want sweets they use their own money. My have left school now but this has been the case for a long time. I found that even if I had sweets at home they would still go out and buy crap with their mates.

What you have to think is that this could go on for years - he might not hit puberty for another couple of years

I wouldn't flame you Chilly and I also have sympathy with what MRJ is saying although I think you have worded it better. I guess i started it by relating my personal experience and I did start by saying a better diet and exercise should be encouraged.

Most of the people who have posted have agreed with my experience, however, clearly there are fat teenagers out there, some of whom may well have been slim children, so it can't be the only scenario. While I have put weight on after children and with menopause, My natural build is tall and slim as is my husbands, so I would say my two were genetically programmed to be tall and slim. The fact that they put weight on and then lost it wasn't due to diet or exercise as those stayed constant and in fact at that point they were probably eating less that they did as younger children. It can realistically only be due to hormonal changes pre puberty.

That may not be the same for everyone though.

As I said as well, I don't deny them rubbish but don't have a lot in the house. They need to take money and go and buy what they want at a shop a mile away. They generally only take enough for a drink and a packet of crisps or chocolate bar. It usually includes a trip into the park while they are there. If they want an ice-cream then it's a scooter or cycle to the shop about a mile and a half away or to McDonalds for a McFlurrie the same distance in the opposite direction. Sometimes they can't be bothered - their choice.

So, yes, you are right, people need to take our experiences into account but bear in mind that fat teenagers do exist and must have come from somewhere.

I wouldn't flame you either Chillly - you make a valid point and it's good that posters with all experiences contribute to this thread. You haven't completely ignored other people's experiences and basically told everyone else they are crap parents.

Yes, OP would probably do well to ensure the overall diet improves a bit or (but preferably and) he starts getting some exercise into his daily life, but that doesn't take away from the fact that a considerable proportion of pre-pubescent boys grow outwards before they grow upwards, and it doesn't mean they are going to be fat teens or fat adults. That's important for OP to know.

Thank you you two.
I am sure the OP DS will no doubt lose the puppy fat but she shouldn't just take that for granted as it might not.

Whatever weight healthy eating is important. Perhaps the OP can start with little steps.

OP - I know you said your DS doesn't eat salad but does he eat fruit and veg? I drink loads of water but neither of my kids will touch the stuff. I stopped getting hung up on it years ago. I make up very diluted squash in a jug for them to help themselves. Very rarely do we have fizzy drinks in the house (again they want it when they are out they buy it themselves).

My two still struggle with veg and salad but will eat virtually any fruit which I know isn't as good from the sugar point of view.

They know they have to eat a piece of fruit before even asking for treats and I know it is just adding to the calories, but sometimes they have the fruit and then forget that they wanted something else :o

I am ashamed to say that I still hide veg in pasta sauce and my bolognaise has as much carrot as mince in it, but I was a fussy child and eat most things now but I was in my late teens and early 20s before I did so. We don't have fried food (except the odd egg in a non stick pan when I am in too much of a rush to poach) and eat home cooked food as much as we can. They are meat junkies but I guess they need the protein!

My DS1 is 22 months older than DD1 so yes, for a couple of years she was a bit taller than him. I warned him beforehand it was likely to happen so it wasn't too much of a big deal. They are now 5'11" and 5'6".

At least they eat fruit - better than nothing. How old are your DCs? Tell me they are not in their 20s (after your comment about still hiding veg)!!!

Chilly :) eldest turned 14 two weeks ago and youngest turns 13 in two weeks time.

Eldest knows there is carrot (or secret ingredient as we call it) in the spag bol and is okay with it as long as he can't see it - he has food issues (borderline aspergers) and even picks out the little cubes of carrot you sometimes get in packet noodles......I tend to seive the packet of flavouring now. he wont touch damaged fruit but is getting slowly better about it. Youngest would eat sweetcorn straight from the tin by the barrowload and will munch the odd bit of lettuce if it comes as a garnish on his meal if we eat out.

They don't mind onions and will reluctantly eat peas and they eat tomato pasta sauce and soup.

Neither of them is enamoured by melon for some reason but will eat pretty much any other fruit

I've yet to find a meat they wont eat and eldest loves fish of any description, he's very partial to a trout and tinned mackerel in olive oil. Both eat eggs done any way and love milk/yoghurt and cheese so I am pretty comfotable with their diet most of the time. Yes, they will have processed meals from time to time and enjoy a pizza and a McDoanlds and fish and chips occaisionally but that's pretty normal I think - well it is considering we both work full time.

Oh, and they would live on Pomegranat and Bueberry Fruit Juice if I let them.