Dealing with DD's fear of flying fairly

[Pteromerhanophobia]

DD (17) has always been a nervous flyer but 2 years ago she had a panic attack while we were waiting to board. We haven't gone abroad since.

Last week she announced that she wanted to go away with her friends next summer. DH said that she had to go away with us first to prove that she was capable of flying, firstly because it isn't fair for her friends to have to deal with her fear and secondly to reassure us that she could do it.

He suggested that he took her over to Paris and I could wait behind with DD (15). I think he is BU because DD2 and I would quite like to go to Paris, but as he pointed out, we can't book for 4 in case DD1 can't go.

His second suggestion is that she goes to the doctor and gets prescribed something. I am really against this because I don't think it addresses the fear and the idea of her going away with her friends and using diazepam/ valium is a bad idea (especially on the return flight). I also think it puts an unfair burden on 3 other 18 year olds.

WWYD?

I have a fear of flying, it has taken a fair bit of work but I'm pretty OK now, barring turbulence.

I know a very good fear of flying support forum where she, or you, might be able to get some advice from people who've "been there, done that", including lots who've walked off flights. I can post a link if you'd like?

Medication (prescribed or self administered in the form of booze) won't get to the root cause of her fear. Ideally, she needs to try and tackle that. I did and it's helped so, so much.

I don't think there is a way to definitely state her anxiety has lessened completely, though.

No. But there is relying on the fact that she has coped in a situation once to think that she won't have a panic attack in a similar situation, and there is equipping her with information and techniques to get through a panic attack when it happens.

I'm not sure a practice run is necessarily going to help especially if you fly scheduled to Paris or wherever and she's just about

Book for all 4 and get a relative to drop you off, if she has an attack then the relative is there to take her home again. Auntie/uncle/grandparents around and close by?

Sorry!

Just about ok but then has to get on a rammed charter flight kt the Med. The bundle on to the plane is more stressful as is the wait.

If she wants to go then she has to work it out beforehand herself. CBT or the BA course (do Virgin do one nearer to you)

I wouldn't bother with a practice run myself. She will be 18 and obviously feels like she will be able to handle it. I have a fear of flying myself from teenage years and still fly every year - the anxiety is still there but I have learnt to handle it a bit better and no longer need to be both drunk and on valium to get me on a flight/end up sobbing in my seat mid-flight I went through CBT for panic disorder years ago and it helps massively to think through your thought processes.

Diazapam wise although you said you would prefer not to it's worth noting they can give a very low dose.

Lollipop could you pm me the link please. I'm flying this week so starting to get a bit antsy about it as per usual.

Um panic attacks aside I'm assuming she will be 18 so she won't have to "prove" anything if she doesn't want to. She can just go.