is my ex h being an arse?

[mosaicone]

This is not a massive deal but.... yesterday DS 14.5 says that ex h mother has bought him new school trousers and he really doesnt like them. Hes very skinny and the only ones we've found he really likes are straight legged in M&S. New ones are from M&S so I say you should have told her at the time, but no biggie Im sure she'd rather swap them than you not wear them.

Ex h texts today to tell me he's sorted boys uniforms for sept (ha, not him obviously, twat) so I gently say thanks, but son's trousers arent to his liking, he should have told you but he can pop to town and change them at some point over the whole summer.

I didnt hear any more.

Son comes home really upset (hes quite sensitive) and has been text this "I am FURIOUS with you. How dare you accept a present (!>?!?!?!?) and not tell Nanny that you didnt like them. This is disgraceful behaviour and there will be consequences"....... AIBU in thinking WTAF?!??!?

It's a pair of trousers. He def should have said something at the time, I know how infuriating it is when they say they like something but have no intention of wearing them but hes offered to go and change them, we neither live in a massive city nor an outback village, its a half hour return to town inc changing the godforsaken trousers.

Is this a big deal?!?!?!?! Son devestated to disappoint his twat of a father :(

I clearly dont like his father, just realised Ive used the word twat twice . Dont flame me for that, this was fairly light hearted and he is one

That is quite a threatening tone in the text ("There will be consequences"). Your ex does sound like a twat! What a lot of fuss he's making over a pair of trousers.

Totally blown out of all bloody proportion. I have an ex who does this kind of thing. Dick.

Thanks. He is one. Or certainly when it comes to me, our relationship breaking down (6+ years now), how we parent the kids, money etc. He pays his maintenance, sees the kids once a fortnight and thats his bit done. I find it really sad and have suggested he sees more of them but if he buys an extra meal etc, he sees that as me getting something out of him (ie not having to pay for a meal, WIN ) rather than him gaining extra time for him to bond with his kids.
His anger issues and inability to look after 3 children (have dd 17 and ds 9 too) were why we split but if you ask him it was my affair (I started seeing a friend of my brothers around 3 months after we split, ok....).
I have tried and tried with this man but he pulls ridiculous comment after ridiculous incident out of the bag time and time and time again. He's exhausting!!! In the past Ive done the uniform shopping and occasionally his dm will pay for half IF I show her all the receipts.

Whoooooooops. I wont get started on him having 2 more children when he barely sees ours.

Sorry Im quite wound up - I just dont think it was necessary. A "mate, cmon, you should have said - next time you do that I wont be very happy" kinda talk should have done. Now DS is dreading seeing his dad - but that isnt until Friday week as theyve just been - so he will be worried all that time!

Oh and if I intervene btw now, boy will I get hell - "How dare you tell me how to parent my son" etc etc. twat twat twat twat twat.

I'd laugh in ex's face at that one. What consequences? I'd like to see him try!

I don't know anything about the legalities here, but at 14 does your son have to see his dad? If my child was dreading something non-compulsory (like this) I'd get them out of it.

Ahh, sounds like your DS was trying to be nice and keep quiet about the trews and not upset anyone. This shows he is a nice person and doesn't take after his twat of a DF