DS cheating on his girlfriend with his best friend (boy)

[Cindy101]

DS1 is 17 and has been with his girlfriend for over a year now (who is 15). Me and DH have never really liked her because she is so demanding of him and he ends up spending the majority of his pay on her, and there has been moments in the year where she'd go in 'moods' with him for no reason, but he always fought her back. We suggested to him he deserves to have a nicer girlfriend but he never listened to us.

He also has a (male) friend who he met in september at sixth form, and I did think they became very close very quickly. Whenever he's not with his girlfriend, he's with him and he doesn't see his other friends very much anymore, only really at sixth form.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago, DH saw DS1 and his friend 'making out' in his room, but obviously we haven't said anything because we don't want to embarrass him, and we assumed it would be sorted out by now. However, it isn't, his girlfriend still has him wrapped round her finger, but i've noticed he has become very awkward around her. He doesn't talk about her anymore, only his friend which suggestes to me he is still cheating on her with him.

Should we step in and say something? It's frustrating to watch, as much as I don't like his girlfriend, I think she needs to know she is being cheated on and her boyfriend is (probably) gay - which we have suspected for years.

Thank you in advance, and I made this account awhile ago but keep forgetting to log in with it!

no

Very difficult for all. But presumably he knows you know (if you accidently caught him at it with his df)? Could you use this as an opener for conversation in a way that doesn't mean he has to do a formal 'coming out'? e.g. Isn't it about time you sorted things out with your dgf and df and told her you're seeing someone else now, ds? . Two -timings never a very good solution

Perhaps he's deserately hoping for a way of talking about it with you. Perhaps he'd be horrified that you know his secret but either way, in the long run, it will be better for everyone involved if he opens up.

It's nothing to do with you. Stay out of it, let your son figure out his sexuality and his relationships on his own.

MYOB, definitely.

Interesting first post.

yup i agree

welcome to mumsnet

What is frustrating about your son's actions?

If he was cheating on his gf with another girl would you be considering interfering?

Erm .

I think your son has to make his own decisions here. However, his gf is very young and as a child, she needs some consideration too. It might be worth asking him if they are still together and hint that if he no longer wants to see her then he should just have the decency to let her know. Then bail out and let them find their own way through this complex situation.