14 year old DD - what time would your curfew be?

[ninabeans]

At weekends and on a school night?

"Everyone" is allowed to stay out until 11.30 at weekends. Allegedly.

Depends where they are, DD is 12 and plays out the front until 11.

HA! my dd is in bed long before then! I think she is pulling your leg. Mine was allowed to cycle home from GB at 9pm last week, that is about as late as I would allow. I like her home before it gets dark and we live in a quiet surburban area.

Ha! For my 13 year old dd it would be 7pm if she was getting herself home, 9pm if we were collecting her from, say, a movie or a friends house.

I can't see that changing much in 6 months time!

"Plays out the front" - not sure our neighbours would be happy about that .

She would be:
At a friend's
In the park
At a party

Certainly not playing out the front!

In the park til 11.30?

No, no way will my 14 y/o be allowed to do that.

I live in a small village. Maybe 9pm at a weekend as its light.

7pm during the week.

Dd is 13. She never asks to go out in the week, maybe for an hour straight after school. Rarely at a weekend.

9 unless doing a club or at a party.

too late to be hanging around outside.

too late to be annoying other people's parents.

At 14 weekdays were non-negotiable. Indoors and bed by 9.00pm.

Weekends were a different beast.

I would definitely relax the rules but there is no way i would give a blanket consent to stay out till 11.30.

For example, if there was a specific event that seemed well-planned and I was happy with the arrangements, for sure i would agree to staying out till 11.30pm. In the absence of the foregoing - no way.

DD is 15 but on weekends is allowed out until 10.30 ish if she's at the park or on the high street or something, but she has to walk home with a friend (all of her friends are boys though and are usually happy to take her home) 11 or a bit later if she's at a friends house and I'm picking her up or another parent is dropping her home. Her and her friends often have mixed sleepovers though so staying out late isn't really a problem.

Forgot to add she doesn't really go out after school but I'd want her in by 7.30 latest on a weekday in term time.

DS1 (14) only really does the hanging around with friends thing in the school holidays. In termtime he is more likely to be at an actual organised event (church youth stuff, cinema etc). Anyway, usual time he is expected home is 9.30, or 10 in exceptional circumstances.

DS is 13. He has to be home from park by 7pm (school nights and weekend.) I know some kids stay later but it's a 15 minute walk and none if his mates live at our end of town.
If it's a friend's house or cinema, bowling type thing, later (on a weekend) is fine as long as DH or I are picking him up.

Outside roaming parks - 8 is late enough IMO

Properly in someone's house - 9.

Earlier in term time as bed time would be about 9 ish.

Outside just out and about with friends till 9 this time of year. Only as long as I know where she is. That she's not alone and keeps in touch.

DS (15) is allowed out at weekends until it gets dark - @10.30ish.

Weekday evening 9-9.30.

I don't have a specific time - it depends on what time the things they are at, finishes.
So, if it's Explorers, and it finishes at 9.30, they won't get in until 9.45ish, just as an example. If it were a party at a friends, then we'd talk about what time she wanted picking up. If it were the cinema, it would depend what time the film finished.
She doesn't just 'go to the park' in the evenings, she's only out if she's somewhere specific.

Impossible to generalise on this one. A lot depends on the child and where you live. I assume the person who says their 12yo plays out front until 11 does not live in a city in the UK. !
We had a lot a conflict with DS when he was 14 as he also maintained his mates were allowed out ridiculously late , like 2am. This is in a situation where they just 'go out' and you don't know where they are. So we had to compromise on around 11pm at weekends and not at all on weekdays. He did respect our curfews despite pushing boundaries and telling us we were incarcerating him. We live in London and I am still not comfortable with 14-16 year olds being out so late but it seems a lot of parents are ok with it.
DD is 15 and doesn't go 'out' in the same way, she would only be out late if it were arranged and lifts home were available.

I agree it does depend where you live. I'd let my 14yo be out til 11 or so at weekends with friends at arranged events in the local city. Or roaming round our (very safe and cosy) village til that time on a summer evening. I let my 10yo roam the village til 9pm or so in summer with friends, that's fairly normal round here.

My 14yo doesn't want to loiter in parks etc in the city, some of her friends do, but I'd probably let her stay out til 10 or so if she wanted to do that in summer with friends. She's pretty sensible (and the city is not a rough one, we used to live in a much bigger city with a high crime rate and I would feel very differently about my young teens being out late there).

DD is almost 15. We don't have a curfew time - just decide on a need-to basis. She doesn't hang around parks in the evening and would be with friends at a house or cinema or party or in town, etc and they would either come back together and sleepover or we would pick up if not just a walk from round the corner.

agree with bigtilly decide on case by case basis.

At a friends and I'm colllecting 9pm at weekend. doesn't happen in the week though as all too busy.

Party- these are unusual ( again only weekends) for the just 15yr old. I'd police pretty carefully who/where/what /where are parents and TBH it's never been a problem ( she has lots of Asian mates and " birthday parties" are bril- they whole family takes over a friend/relatives restaurant- that's a safe situation till when ever they want rid of her- all the extended family is there !). Actually I suspect the friend demographic makes for an easy life as their parents can be overprotective in our eyes- so what we feel is " fine" DD gets the feeling is us being really lax LOL

I guess it helps this is our youngest not oldest teen!

We've never had our trust broken but I'd always be sure I know where she is not that she's fibbing to go elsewhere. Possibly being very controlling could push her to this sort of thing I dunno

If dd is just hanging out then she's to be home for 8 -skate park etc

At the weekends it's by negotiation depending what she's doing -cinema with parents picking up or going to a gig it depends what time they finish

Parties tend to be about 10

My 14 year old doesn't go out on a school night unless it's to an arranged activity. Dance and gymnastics finish at 9ish so she's not home until 10 most nights.

On weekends if it's an arrangement, e.g. a party or an eve we discuss a time. If it's a sensible plan, and the proposed finish time is 11.30 or earlier it's almost always a yes unless she has commitments the next day. We live in the middle of nowhere, so she might go walk to the shop for sweets, or for a run with her sisters, but not a lot of 'hanging around' gets done as there isn't really anyone to 'hang' with in walking distance!

11.30 is ridiculousy late for any young teen, and as for being in a park until that time? You're joking, right?