Dd keeps losing friends

[Verycold]

Ever since primary dd (13) has been losing friends. She builds up friendships, for a while all seems fine, then they move on, and her heart, and mine, gets broken
She and I just can't understand what the reason is. All I can think of is that she has quite a serious nature and isn't into anything in particular, so I worry the friends find her boring? Even though she's not at all, but maybe to a teenager she is? Not that I'd say that to her. What can I do to help?

.

Two threads started this morning, both unanswered - feel unloved now as well

No real advice for you but didn't want to not answer. You are clearly concerned about your dd.

Have you talked through the endings of the friendships with her? Maybe you could spot what's happening? If it's too much for her though maybe leave it.

What are her interests? Could you sign her up for classes or an activity where she could meet like minded friends?

Don't feel unloved

In what way do they move on? Simply change friends?

I agree with Mild OP. Is there an activity she can get involved with?

Also, would it be worth having a confidential chat with her Form Teacher? They may see a pattern that isn't apparent to your DD.

It must be very upsetting for you both.

13yo girls can be really shallow - she will be being judged on appearance, social media presence, how many fun events she instigates and what her interests are.

I'm not sure I can offer anything useful other than that it is a phase and will pass - as her peers mature they will begin to value more important attributes.

In the meantime are there any clubs or activities she could join to meet like-minded people?

It might also help to talk to her form teacher - she will be able to contact all of DDs teachers, make them aware of your concerns and ask them to encourage appropriate friendships (through seating plans, group work etc).

Thanks for all the advice

Awwww. They are all changing at such different rates at that age- can you encourage her with things she is interested in? Then friendship bonds may last more. It is so hard. What is she great at? Try and encourage her with sport/ baking/ art/ computers/ whatever she is interested in. Good luck

I am sort of going through the same thing. The problem is, my daughter can just be plain annoying around her peers. She does it out of nervousness, and it will go away with maturity (please?) but it's a bugger to deal with now.
I tell her that this is just a tiny drop in the ocean of experience that will be her life, and once she gets into the big, wide world she will meet lots more people that she has more in common with. And I pray that it's true.

That happens a lot at this age. Reassure her and tell her that this is rather normal and she can see it as a chance to meet and get to know a lot about people, try not to take it too personal. maybe she can take the attitude to think of friends more in terms of acquaintances - not necessarily best buds but people you can spend time and have fun with anyway. The more long term friendships evolve during GCSEs. And to get involved in clubs/societies at school - school plays, school newspapaers, charity drives etc - working together on special events gets her to know people and them to know her.

Tears tonight because she doesn't know where she belongs :-(

It must be horrible for you both.