Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you take housekeeping off teen on a low paid apprentiship ?

57 replies

Shinyshoes2 · 26/06/2014 13:17

My son has a face to face interview tomorrow with a fairly high chance of starting on a full time apprentiship ... He'll be on roughly £100. A week

He's 17 years old
..
Would you take housekeeping from him ?
I'm unsure as its very low paid but at the same time I want him contributing towards the house as a young man he needs to start learning about contributing to the household somehow . At the moment he takes his sister in the morning and picks her up from school.
Obviously if he's doing 40 hours a week he can't do this
Should I just leave it for a year ? ( the apprentiship is 12 months )
We get absolutely no financial help with him whatsoever

OP posts:
bronya · 28/06/2014 11:40

£20 a week towards cost of food (replacing CB essentially), and he buys own travel/mobile/clothes etc.

Chopsypie · 28/06/2014 11:41

DH has an apprentice who is a family friend.
His mum doesn't take anything, but he now pays for his own phone and all of his new clothes/shoes etc. he also pays for all of his lunches etc for work. They split the cost of his driving lessons.
So he doesn't give anything to her but he still doesn't get to spend it on whatever he wants.

pigwitch · 28/06/2014 11:44

Backforgood - the £80-£100 wouldn't just be for treats though would it? Toiletries, travel, clothes, lunch at work, driving lessons.

expatinscotland · 28/06/2014 12:03

I could not afford to keep them after tax credits and child benefit are cut off. Yes, I would take money. Probably £40-50.

overthemill · 28/06/2014 12:11

When I was 15 I was asked for £10 a week for each full week I worked (boots, Saturday snd holiday job) I earned £7 a day. I never minded - my parents fed me and paid all bills. I bought my own clothes apart from school shoes and uniform from age 15.

I think it's important to make them see value of money.

Higheredserf · 28/06/2014 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieKaye · 28/06/2014 12:20

the question is surely why wouldn't you ask your earning child to contribute to the family expenses from which they benefit - namely a house, with heat and light, council tax paid, food on the table, TV and internet provided, washing machine etc. £20 a week does not cover that. Taking a contribution from their wages is about teaching them that real life has costs, that you might not be able to afford to have the fanciest mobile phone/driving lessons etc without saving up.

Not that long ago kids left school at 15 and started working because their family (ie their parents) needed an extra wage coming in. And they'd hand over their entire wage to their parents and get maybe a fiver back.

Yes, apprenticeships pay a really crap wage and I'm not defending that. But giving 1/5 of your weekly wage in return for the majority of your living costs is a flipping great deal. The major extra expenses would be lunch and travel costs. Getting a bus pass and taking packed lunches would be one way to budget. Driving lessons are a luxury that probably is practicable at the moment. And if the child can't afford to pay for the lunch, travel, toiletries etc there is no way they can afford to buy, tax and insure a car and put petrol in it!

BackforGood · 28/06/2014 12:23

Pigwitch - as per another thread running at the moment, most of us don't buy clothes every week!
Yes you can get pedantic over toiletries (I tend to bung shower gel and deoderants etc in with the weekly groceries, but you can work out individual detail with each family) this is more about the principle.
They can take lunch from home, as dh and I do.
Travel - yes, it's about learning how life works, one of your first expenses of being at work, is travelling to work. By being responsible yourself, it's more motivating to seek out options such as young person's railcard, or looking in to cycling there, or whatever the options are close to you. My ds currently works in a shop around his A-levels, and has to fund his travel to get there from what he gets paid - it means on a short shift it's not really worth him going in, but he now understands that and it's given him the confidence to talk to the manager and explained how it works for him and he has now improved that for himself. I doubt if he would if it hadn't impacted on his pocket.
Driving lessons (as I did say in my original post, yesterday) would be something I'd be prepared to negotiate around. Point being, I'd start with the principle that they will be contributing a reasonable amount, and then sit down with them and work out what they needed (in terms of travel, say) and what was a reasonable amount.

OorWullie · 28/06/2014 12:24

My mum took about £15 a week from my college bursery of a similar amount when i was 18 and still living with her.

I was responsible for my own clothing, travel, phone bill, toiletries and snacks/extra food outwith the normal family meals.

I think it's good to take something, even if it is a token amount, it introduces the commitment involved in paying your way etc.

RhondaJean · 28/06/2014 12:26

Yes I would but if I could afford it I would stick the money away and offer it back when he needed to make a big purchase (thinking car) without telling him that was what I was doing.

He needs to get into the mentality of his pay being used for living expenses and paying them out first then budgeting the rest around his wants and it's a good way to teach him that.

mloo · 28/06/2014 12:33

It seems like apprenticeship around here would also pay about £100, which would be eaten up almost entirely by travel costs. So my answer is something like I'd ask for 1/3 of what's left after all work-related costs, which means £1 if I'm lucky.

Redhead11 · 28/06/2014 12:37

My DD is a student, currently signed off her work, and is still expected to contribute a token amount to housekeeping. She is more than happy to do this and annoyed that because of being signed off, the original deal that was made for her keep this summer fell through. Once she is back to work, things will probably change, but she will be paying for her own travel to and from her job, by public transport. she is also expected to do things around the house while at home, even though signed off.

LaceyLitch · 28/06/2014 13:10

a house, with heat and light, council tax paid, food on the table, TV and internet provided, washing machine etc. £20 a week does not cover that.

Yeah £20 doesn't touch the sides, but how many of you are working for £100 a week? At the end of the day he is still legally a child, if he was in education you wouldn't take anything from him. If you are REALLY going to miss the CBA make him give you that per week.

I started working at 16 whilst still at school working sat and sun 6 hours each day for about £3.40ph as a hotel cleaner. Really tiring work for crap pay. Used to walk the 6 mile round trip. Why would my mum take money from me? I bought my own clothes/toiletries/majority of my food (mum didn't really cook much), travel etc.

I didn't need her ripping me off and or controlling my money by taking it off me to save to teach me about working life etc. I am now 22 been out of the house for 4 years and have 6k in savings. Share a nice flat with my boyfriend which costs us about £1400pm in rent and bills which we half, after travel of about £100pm month I have just less than half my wage left for me, so over £100pw. (In response to do you have £80 - £100 a week just to spend on treats for yourself ???) However I do have the luxury of just having me to pay for, not any offspring.

Basically OP if you think you son is mature enough to enjoy his money responsibly whilst saving then no, don't take any money. If you think he needs a reality check to wake him up to what life is going to be like after he leaves home then yes, take a token amount. He has his whole life to pay bills and worry about money, just let him enjoy his first job.

HygieneFreak · 28/06/2014 13:29

Lacey

Couldnt agree more!

Stickaflakeinit · 28/06/2014 13:32

I'd take money off him to teach him money management and that your take home salary isn't just for spending on fun. I would only ask for a token amount, maybe £10 a week.

BBQsAreSooooOverrated · 28/06/2014 13:43

I was on a very poorly paid apprenticeship about 15years ago and earnt £40 per week. My parents had £10 for bills and I kept the rest. It didn't really go far though,my transport was £7.50 a week, I had to buy my lunches and I often got food in for dinner for the 5 of us, bought my own clothes etc. However, I always managed to scrape enough money together once a month to go out :)

I think if my ds was earning £100 I'd want to take about £25-£30 or for them to buy some food towards meals.

starfishmummy · 28/06/2014 13:51

Why not?
Food has to be paid for by someone.

AnnoyingOrange · 28/06/2014 14:03

I was thinking £10 a week, but after reading all these responses, maybe £20. But certainly not more than that

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 28/06/2014 14:14

It doesn't make any sense to charge him nothing now and then to come up with a figure next year. You will have already set a precedent (in his mind) that 100 quid a week equals a free ride. What happens if his wage after his apprenticeship is 120 a week? What are you going to ask him to pay then?

I'd have thought 20 a week as an absolute minimum to cover his food and he pays for everything else he needs himself. If his fares are 30 quid a week he'll still have fifty to himself to spend as he wishes. That's a lot more than some people have to themselves who live independently

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/06/2014 14:15

My daughter has just finished college but was working also about 25 hours a week, so earned a reasonable amount.

I don't take any money but I don't give her any - she funds herself, lunches, petrol, clothes, phone bill, car tax etc.

It all depends on personal finances though - if you are struggling for money it seems daft to let them have 100 quid a week spending money doesn't it? I don't think there are any hard and fast rules

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/06/2014 14:18

Mind you I'm of the mindset at the moment that she can stay at home until she is 57 and I will pay for the lot.

This is due to the fact she is probably moving away imminently and I will miss her a lot!

edendvatri · 28/06/2014 14:44

How can anyone be capable of taking money from their own child...

LaurieFairyCake · 28/06/2014 15:46

eden - bit rude and judgemental that Hmm

Not a child at 18. And the vast majority of people saying they would take money are doing it for good reasons: to teach the value of money, or because they lose child benefit once they reach adulthood and can't afford adults to live for nothing in their house.

LaceyLitch · 28/06/2014 17:56

When I was earning £20 a day (same as OP's son) busting my arse in a crap job I would have resented my mum taking any of it from me as she didn't need it. If your family were poor and REALLY needed the money to survive a good kid would offer without being asked. If you don't need it I can't see any reason to take money off your own child. The 'learning the value of money' thing should be instilled before 16/17/18, unless the are spoilt.

Not a child at 18
He's 17.

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/06/2014 18:46

Good posts Lacey. I totally agree that teaching the value of money should be instilled by the age of 18 anyway.