What do you do if parenting styles between parents are different?
I have a ds (13) who has suddenly turned into 'Kevin', literally overnight, about a month ago. He is dh's stepson whom he has known since he was 4.
DH is very 'old school'. Went to boarding school from the age of 7, had nannies throughout childhood and has a quite formal relationship with his 'mother'.
I went to the local comp and am very close to my parents now.
I have also read the books - Get out of my Life, Blame my Brain etc so have kind of got an understanding from those about what is happening with ds and I am really trying not to make everything with him a battle. DS says some quite rude things to me which if said in a serious way, would cause me to punish him. But half the time they are done in a jokey way and I know he doesn't really mean them and I try to diffuse an argument by not getting cross.
DH cannot, and I mean really cannot, see this. Instead he says there are no boundaries from me, he doesn't even understand what my boundaries are and if he doesn't, how the hell will ds.
Last night, we had (yet another) row about it all and dh has now said he's done. He is going to have no more involvement with me and ds at all and is leaving it all to me, but beware, ds is going to turn into a nightmare. We also have a dd (10) his stepdaughter, and our own dts (6). I did say that we have another 12 years of teenage behaviour and he really does need to see that things are not always black and white and sometimes you do need to let things just go, otherwise, we will be living in a household full of battles and negativity. He just said 'have fun - you're on your own' and then refused to engage further.
This last month, since ds turned, has been hard. It is putting enormous strain on our already shaky marriage and I actually feel sick at the thought of ds's bedtime tonight, the bolshiness that goes with it re giving up his phone and the consequent atmosphere it is going to create, yet again, between me and dh.
I am really not sure how to compromise, we are so different in our ways.