General PiTA thread? Such as bedroom putridness?

[TweeAintMee]

Sorry, not a clean freak at all, but had enough. GCSEs are over, no great commitments but a specific request to sort out in last week. There are 7, 8, 9 empty carrier bags on the floor, dirty laundry everywhere, general chaos of course. Just exploded with frustration....

Grrrrr. What to do?

Money seems to work here. I know lots of people don't agree with it but if I offer my teens £15 to do a big tidy/sort out about once a year they usually do it. After that it's up to them to keep it tidy, I remind them if it starts to look a bit messy but leave them to it most of the time. After a whole of living in their own personal pigsty they get fed up and clean it.

Thanks diet coke - bit depressed that financial incentive the only route. :(

Shouldn't have to, but I check their rooms every day and get them to do it before bed or after dinner depending on when I have checked the room. If it doesn't build up, it isn't a big job - they are almost 14 and 13 (boys) and so far it's working okay. I also don't allow food upstairs but still have to get them to bin the odd apple core or orange peel. Don't pay specifically for tidying but getting maximum pocket money each month is based on keeping things tidy without being nagged. they are allowed to be reminded/asked once without losing anything. I clean if it's tidy.

I try and ignore it mostly but I have found that when it does get to a certain level of putridness that they decide to spontaneously tidy up themselves. I was actually pleasantly surprised that DD, also finished GCSEs so plenty of time on her hands, did a big tidy this week. Its not perfect, but is certainly better than it was.

I do go in a couple of times a week and pick up clothes from the floor that I know need a wash. I'll also go in and open the window to remove the eau de teenager smell. Other than that, I refuse to do anything else. If they want to live like that, then so be it. I don't allow food or drinks other than water upstairs so that helps a bit.

DH used to give them a fiver a week to keep their rooms tidy but they couldn't be bothered so he stopped. Easy money if you ask me. Bribery does not work in this household!

I just left them to wallow. When they ran out of clean clothes I shrugged -- no late/emergency washes. I also refused to let them bring friends into their rooms when they came over if the rooms weren't presentable. They learned.

I also had a completely inflexible rule about eating and drinking in their rooms -- nothing allowed but bottles of water. I went ballistic if they tried sneaking food/candy or mugs or glasses upstairs.

Napoleonsnose and math anxiety - we have the same rules and approach. I guess I'll just shut my eyes next time I look in there. Smell is not an issue as DS a showeraholic. It's the inability to find clear floor for him to hoover that is rather more irksome.

Hmmm, now my teenager has gone away for a few days do I brave it with rubber gloves and hoover or do I leave the pit alone?

My solution is, though not ideal, once a week I pick everything up from the floor and dump it on their beds or in a black bag. Clean clothes together with dirty, rubbish including tissues and anything else that might be on the floor. They then have to tidy it up before they can even sit on their beds. I also don't chase them much for their dirty laundry. They've run out of underwear a couple of times recently. I just shrug my shoulders. Hopefully, they'll soon get the message.

different - I like that idea.

I got fed up with it and said that when they got home from school they were to put away any clean washing that had appeared, chuck any dirty stuff in the laundry basket, and bring any washing up down. And after that 5 minute job was done, I'd turn the router back on Has worked very well!

Different I have always done the black bag thing! My daughter, now left home, says it is the one thing about me that used to annoy her intensely. Once I was so angry that it was black bins thrown out of the window. I think that was because she said that she had lost ballet stuff and I went out and bought new ones without checking under the layers on her floor first, and she said she had looked 'everywhere'...

When DS gets back from his little holiday he will find a large black bag on his bed. And no bedding, as I asked him to make it up and he didn't. He would sleep with naked duvets and pillow and mattress if I didn't remove everything.

I don't bribe with money, I remove things and hide them and hold them hostage. Phone, laptop, whatever the current favourite gadget is.

Do nothing. Shut the door and let it all fester. Don't tidy it, take rubbish out , take out dirty clothes or put clean clothes away. They need their own domain and independence. Don't waste energy nagging as the only result is they feel hate towards you. When he runs out of clothes he will tidy it up. It's a good way to learn and take responsibility.

Charlotteamanda1 - I wonder if the same applies to lots of other areas, not just bedrooms. Withdraw help so that they learn by their own mistakes or inertia. Could be painful but ultimately might be the best way forward.

I have taken that tack wrt money -- I provide none. They have all managed to fund their lifestyles and buy their own clothes and footwear via babysitting, part time jobs, etc.