Teen and Adult child Nightmare..

[jolajo]

I have a 23 year old girl and 16 year old boy, problem is in a nutshell
they dislike each other to say the least. Daughter has rejected half brothers need for attention for years, partly i feel through resentment to his father, partly due to his behaviour.
Only receintly been diagnosed as having mild traits of Autism which explains to me sumwhat his bizare behaviour over the years but daughter wants none of him. It came to blows 6 weeks ago when in defence to the cheek he was giving me she stormed out of her room screaming in his face, his reaction was to push her away against a wall and pin her up. I got there within seconds and stopped it going any further. The atmosphere in the house is horrendous, she wont accept an appology and feels he has not been punished enough for her satisfaction and keeps throwing the ' getting him charged for asault' due to this..

I am a single parent, brought both up without help from fathers and suffer from quite bad depression at times and this is really affecting my well being and sanity. Any advice appreciated
Thank you

To be honest, at 23 I'd be an outraging her to move out. The relationship will be better for it.

This just sounds like a case of siblings who won't be friends in adult life. If they were younger I'd be advising punishment for both, but you can't really punish an adult. Was there a consequence for your son assaulting his sister? There needs to be really.

No practical advice, I'm sorry. Is very hard to see two people you like disliking one another.

Encouraging her to move out, that should read.

It is heartbreaking having your children at loggerheads and I agree once she moves out im at least hoping they can get along.

Yes there were concequences put in place and once he began to start showing remorse I began to allow him back bit by bit his "luxeries" ie a friend to stay. I am critisised by her for this as she sees it as him getting away with it....

I think your DD has a good point. If he ever does this to a girlfriend she would be completely justified in calling the police and having him charged. It's domestic assault.

Your DS needs to have very serious consequences for what he did, and taking away luxuries and making him apologise don't cut it imo.

My exH (though not autistic) used to get away with extreme displays of anger in his family home. He didn't learn it was unacceptable.

If you have any sort of professional SN support with his behaviour (even through school) you need to figure out a way to make him stop his attention seeking behaviour and above all not to ever assault anyone.

I also think a young woman of 23 should be in her own place.