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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

teenage dd and body dysmorphia - body hair

5 replies

topbanana1 · 17/06/2014 18:27

Advice wanted about my dd (14) who is convinced she has exceptional body hair and that she can't wear anything that reveals this or even go swimming as she believes she 'needs' to wear high-necked tops back and front. She shaves her legs and now her arms too - against my advice, as once you start it may grow back thicker so you may need to keep doing it, her upper lip (she had no moustache at all before she did it) and her underarms. But would like to remove hair from her whole body - back, chest etc. She is dark blonde so her body hair (totally normal very fine 'down' to my eyes) is almost invisible anyway!

I've told her this but she believes I'm wrong. At her request I made an appointment for her at the GPs, hoping they could talk some sense to her. She's just got back from there and the GP told her she was fine but offered counselling, which DD declined. She wants to get laser or equivalent treatment but I've said she's too young - the GP refused to discuss it.

Anyone got any suggestions? I remember hating my body hair at the same age too, and modern airbrushing etc probably puts young girls now under more pressure than when I was that age, but still... I have (plenty of) dark body hair and am now pretty laid back about it - but nothing I say to DD gets through - she's just convinced everyone else is wrong and she's some sort of freak. :(

She's convinced that if only she could sort this out she'd be happy, her whole life would be wonderful. To me, she seems depressed and if it wasn't this it would be something else...

Help please...

OP posts:
BettyFlour · 17/06/2014 18:30

Sorry I w

BettyFlour · 17/06/2014 18:35

Sorry I won't be much help.

I remember being quite young (maybe 9 years old) and hating the hair on my arms. I'm a dark blonde so you could say the hair on my arms was "downy". It wasn't fair but certainly wasn't dark.

But I hated it. And always wanted to wear long sleeves. I don't know what made me so conscious of it.

Anyway, my Mum always assured me it was nothing. But when I was 30 I got my arms waxed. My Mum was horrified. But I've continued to do it and feel much better about it.

Sorry I've been no help whatsoever. I guess I'm just trying to give you an insight. At 14, I would imagine her views won't change.

Even though the hair is fair, is it particularly l

BettyFlour · 17/06/2014 18:35

Sorry stupid phone!

Is the hair l

BettyFlour · 17/06/2014 18:38

Is the hair long?

I remember feeling that in the winter my hair was not dark but it was noticeable as my skin was so pale. And in the summer, the hair was so fair it was white and very noticeable against my tanned skin.

Sorry for the multiple message and for not being much help!

topbanana1 · 17/06/2014 18:50

No, it's not especially long. It's the kind of fine, downy hair many (not all) women have on their arms. And I have (reluctantly) OKed waxing as I don't think that will make hair grow back thicker. But not on her chest/back (can one wax one's own back?!). The problem - to me - is not the hair but her self-image.

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