Just using mn to set down my thought but any insights/comments would be appreciated.
DD (14) goes around in a group of around 5 girls at school. It's not fixed - other girls move in and out but the core is of five is generally always together - not in a cliquey way but they all seem to get on and there are no "best friends"
Another girl has come in to the group and seems to be trying to push my dd out.
Couple of things by way of example - she always interrupts DD when DD is talking to the extent that when DD was not going to be in at school first thing she tried to tell her friends but not one of them knew as every time DD spoke this girl just shouted over her.
Also they all sit together in some lessons and this girl said "Hey guys check your emails I've sent you something" She had sent a christmas countdown clock to them all except my DD - even though DD was actually sat in the middle of them.
I didn't know any of this as DD is very private but this week I took DD to the pictures (we had pre booked a few days earlier so not a spur of the moment thing) and they were all there for this girl's birthday. DD knew they were going to be there as this girl had come up to DD earlier in the day and told her and had said to DD "but you are not invited" saying she could not get enough tickets to include her.
This is in fact a lie as we booked after she invited the others - although we didn't know about the invite- and there were loads of seats.
If she doesn't want to invite DD that's fine but did she have to be so cruel. Before she had told DD she had asked all the others very loudly to come in to the locker room but had said to my DD "you wait there".
DD had spoken to one of her friends by text before we went to the pictures and said it's fine that she is not invited but please don't spend all day talking about in front of me tomorrow. Guess what - that's exactly what happened - talking about how great it was to see the film together - DD hardly ever cries but she came home yesterday and sobbed her heart out.
She then sent a message to her fiends last night explaining how she had felt left out when they were talking about it and that she felt that this girl was trying to exclude her from the group.
Poor DD is now terrified that the girls will tell her it's in her imagination and to just get over it or tell her to get new friends.
I have said to her that may be the case but there are lots of lovely girls in her year - she said I know but they are all in their friendship groups - I'll be on my own.
My heart is breaking for her as she had some friendship issues at primary schools and had been dropped by her best friend when a new girl arrived. She never said anything bad about the new girl to me and still won't have a word said against her but due to there being an odd number of girls in her class she spent the last three years of primary/junior school always sitting on her own on the bus to swimming and school trips.
I was so pleased for her when she found these new friends at secondary school and they all seem lovely but I am worried for her. She is fiercely loyal and always tries to include her friends in things and not leave anyone out. She feels that she has always supported them over the the last three years whenever there have been any issues but nobody wants to look out for her.
I 100% realise that i am only getting her side of the story but my little girl is hurting - badly.
I am not sure what to do/suggest for the best - just asking for a bit of hand holding really.
Sorry it is so long.