Has anyone ejected a 16-17 yr old from their house and refused to have them back?

[M2GMOJK]

Please don't pass judgement or criticise my post. No-one knows what I have been through. I just need constructive advice on what is likely to happen if I have my son removed this weekend.

This means so much to me to hear this right now, I am not trying to shirk my responsibility, I have done everything in my power to help my ds over the years including involving CAMHS and Social Services, moving schools twice and moving house to get him away from negative influences. I would do anything to get my little boy back but all he can see right now is that I don't want him, which has never been the case but I have been on meds for panic attacks and anxiety over the last year due to his unpredictable behaviour and outbursts.

So sorry OP

Oh bless you OP. I have been through this but my dd was 19 and it happened very suddenly on the back of a lot of problems (alcoholism). Me and dh's lives literally were a living hell until she threatened me with a bottle cos she was drunk and I snapped and threw her out. She kicked the door in and the police were called. They were very good, and said I should call if she came back. They also advised me I was a victim of DV (that really hit home). Its really hard for any parent to understand how desperate you feel until you have been in that situation but your ds is old enough to leave home legally. He needs to get some advice on housing and start taking responsibility. When dd first left I suffered great anxiety around her coming back and trying to get in but after she had been arrested a couple of times she realised that we were never going to take her back. That said, 18 months later she has made progress and now understands why we did what we did, and we have a reasonable relationship. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up or worry about what anyone else thinks - no-one knows what goes on in other peoples' houses and what people have to put up with. Good luck x

If it has to be done then it has to be done but just want to warn you that the accommodation they are placed in is worse than any other place I've ever been. It was dirty and unsafe (in my case the only adults around were actually in a building in a nearby street, not in the building I was in.) In the place my brother went to, the windows in his flat were all smashed and there was a hole in his front door. I had no hot water or heating and the door didn't lock properly. Then I had my new neighbours coming around asking if I had any pot (I didn't). I stayed for 2 nights before I went back to begging friend's parents to let me stay. It was truly awful. Plus ss had no interest in helping me stay in school. The housing I described above was in a completely different town to my school with no public transport links. They just shrugged their shoulders when I told them that. I wasn't a delinquent and I don't think they knew what to do with me other than treat me like all the others.

Obviously I'm not aware of your full circumstances and it may be completely necessary in your situation but from my own experience I would try to avoid having to send a teenager to a place like that. While someone like my brother (who was violent and repeatedly stole things from my mum) had a bit of a shock being sent to this place, I on the other hand (a straight A student who had never so much as had a detention never mind been in trouble with the police) found it so traumatic the stress of it all made me physically ill for quite a while and I screwed up my a-levels due to constantly being ill and exhausted and the lack of stability.

All I'm basically trying to say is that I think you need to ensure where you would be sending your teen is actually somewhere that will help rather than cause more problems iyswim? Sorry bit of a ramble there.