Ds' emotionally needy girlfirend

[DieselSpillages]

Ds 15 has a girlfriend , they don't go to the same school but are pretty inseparable all the rest of the time. She seems to be having a tough time and is quite depressed.

Ds walked out of school yesterday and hitched to girlfiend's house ( very out of character) because he was so worried about her. he refused to say what the problem was and went crazy when I said I wanted to talk to her mum. He promises me she's not pregnant ! I suspect she was threatening to commit suicide as she has done this before.

How can i protect my son from this. Both me and his school councellor have explained to him that she needs professional help and that he cannoy handle this on his own. I have talked to her mum before about this and even gave her the phone numbers of people who could help , but she's taken no action and is a bit complicated herself.

I feel that the girlfriend is emotionally manipulating my Ds . She is also constantly falling out with her mum, running away from home etc.

I do feel for her but there's a limmit to what I can do. my primary concern is for my Ds. I feel like he is being emotionally abused by this girl.

If you make it clear that you disapprove of the relationship then, in their eyes, they become Romeo and Juliet.

There are lots of sad stories on here about teens leaving home to live with gf/bf's family when they feel misunderstood.

I am not sure that you can do anything other than support him and hope that he gets fed up of the drama quickly. Practice your poker face. Smile and nod. Give thoughtful advice when asked.

Try over accepting her. Let her be at yours 24/7. Encourage her to stay. All go out together - a lot. If your son says can you drop her home now , you encourage her to stay longer. Even go and get her and bring her to yours.
This stratagy worked very well for a friend of mine. Her son soon became sick if the girl. She was less appealing as she was always there. Fight against it and that adds a desire to be together.
Good luck it's a worry.

The problem with that idea Charlotte is that her mum has now refused to let her come to our house , or leave hers, other than between very specific hours and then she has to stay in the village . This is her punishment for running away countless times. I've invited her mum round for a cuppa to talk about the situation but she declined saying she was too busy !

They get to be alone in her GF"s house as her mum works long hours. I am sure they are having sex. I have had countless talks with Ds about them being too young etc. and also how important protection is, he has access to durex and I notice they are being used ... I talked to her mum about her daughter taking the pill but the mum is in denial about them being sexually active but then said she would force her daughter to have an abortion if it came to it . I can't ban Ds from going to the village as all his friends are there !

She's really bringing him down as he used to be so much happier but now seems weighed down by responsibility.

Do you have the sort of relationship with your DS whereby you could initiate a conversation about this?

I would avoid criticising his GF in any way, but instead express sympathy and concern for her situation before explaining that you are also worried about him, because you love him so much, and because you are proud of how supportive and mature he is being, but ultimately desperately worried about what a big strain he is putting on himself. Is there anything I can do to help you DS, etc.

But ultimately, there is nothing you can do to separate them, only make sure he can talk to you about it all.