please I need some help asap!

[summer68]

I don't know what to do my son has disappeared and I'm scared. He is 16 and has been on and off the rails today he lied to us saying he was going to work but he didn't show up- he came home briefly and he told me he had no feelings for me that he was quitting his job - he said he had been with his girlfriend who was very down ( this is a complete lie as I've spoken to her mum) I don't know what lies he's told her as her reaction was that we all needed to calm down . That his girlfriend knows where he is but she won't say where. I did not get mad at him when he came back I tipttoedr ound him as he's so volatile but I said you are breaking my heart that's when he told me he didn't care.
Please help I'm so out of my depth I'm drowning I don't know what to do

Your post is a bit jumbled.
So firstly, how long has your son been missing?

Try not to worry. The likelihood is that he is with friends.

It doesn't sound like this has happened out of the blue. How long have you been having problems communicating with him?

I am so sorry. Of course you are jumbled, as you must be extremely anxious and unsure what to do.

I just want to say that I know many people who have been through a very worrying stage of lies, uncertainty, manipulation, hurtful comments, fear about mental health, with their teens. The kids have all come out the other end, relatively sane, happy, decent 20-21 year olds.

I don't know why kids do this to their loving parents, but they do usually turn out to be wonderful young people.

I think you need to trust that he is with friends, his girlfriend knows where he is and that he's got people looking out for him.

I think "you are breaking my heart" is a bit of an emotional guilt trip. "When you stay out of contact I worry because I need to know that you are safe" might work better.

He's obviously having a hard time and needs space to work it out for himself without family pressure. Try telling him that you are having difficulty understanding his choices , like giving up work, but that you are going to trust him and have confidence in his decisions even if you dont

I have been there with Ds 1 and now Ds2 and appreciate how challenging it is. They do grow out of it eventually...

Hi thanks for the replies especially claraschu. I did try to post a reply sooner but it didn't appear. My son has returned although he is defiantly not himself. Sorry my message was jumbled I was in a bit of a state.
I think my son has mental health issues and I'm out of my depth. But thanks for being there for me. X

I'm glad he has returned and it sounds like you all need some support. Sadly, if teens are suffering depression, they find it hard to talk with those close to them, and he might not fully understand what is going on himself. Try to help him talk to someone, and no matter how 'not himself he is' try to make sure he knows you love him and will stand by him and help him get support . As some say, many of us have kids who have struggled emotionally and/or behaviourally at this age and with the right support and help, things get better. you can also go to the GP yourself for a course of CBT which I found helpful.