stepchild keep money

[joanneyogi]

Hi,have a stepchild (not officially-engaged to her dad) staying with me, she is 19 years old and has stayed with me since she was 14. I have been there for her high school years, everything - but her mother is perfect in her eyes, she has not been there for her and they see each other for 2 hours maybe I feel like a stranger in my own home. she is working full time and is on a good wage, how do I approach that she should be giving money into the household (she does nothing to help about the house)?? help

What does her father/your DP say?

I am the one that thinks she should pay, I have asked him and he said he would speak to her, but hasn't!

Hmm - difficult, however my thinking is that if she is in your house, using your electricity, food etc, then your DP either stumps up for her or she pays towards her keep. If he wants to do it a different way, he could pay you a contribution whilst still getting his dd to pay and then save the money for her as a lump sum towards a flat/house rent or own. Your DP is doing her no favours with regards to her thinking that magic fairies pay for her board and keep (and also do the dishes etc)

thank you, I just feel she is taking the mickie, and that is making me resent her at the moment and unfortunately her father

I think you and DP should treat her exactly the same as you would a joint child (IYSWIM). Personally, I would ask my adult child, who was earning a good wage working full time, to make a contribution towards the running of the house. If she lived anywhere else, she'd have to pay rent and bills.