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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can I buy my daughter flowers

28 replies

DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 14:58

Hi
Have just joined and this is my first post.
It's a little sad as my daughter, my eldest, has always been my little girl but is becoming a woman.
She's 13 tomorrow.
As her dad, who loves her very much, I want to buy her flowers. It's more of a mark of her teaching 13 more than anything else and from my perspective a milestone that is personal to me. My wife thinks it is a bit odd but I don't. Is it?
My memories go back to before 13 and I wants daughter to remember when she is older that her dad, as unready as he is, have her flowers.
That's my view.
Should I buy her flowers and will that be not seem as weird? All you mums here - looking back, what would have you said if your dad had given you flowers then? And looking back as a mum of a daughter - what would you say now?
Thanks

OP posts:
Martorana · 23/04/2014 15:00

I think it's a lovely idea!

Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:01

Hi
Have just joined and this is my first post.
It's a little sad as my daughter, my eldest, has always been my little girl but is becoming a woman.
She's 13 tomorrow.
As her dad, who loves her very much, I want to buy her flowers. It's more of a mark of her teaching 13 more than anything else and from my perspective a milestone that is personal to me. My wife thinks it is a bit odd but I don't. Is it?
My memories go back to before 13 and I wants daughter to remember when she is older that her dad, as unready as he is, have her flowers.
That's my view.
Should I buy her flowers and will that be not seem as weird? All you mums here - looking back, what would have you said if your dad had given you flowers then? And looking back as a mum of a daughter - what would you say now?
Thanks

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 23/04/2014 15:02

Well I think it would be absolutely lovely. :)

Cocolepew · 23/04/2014 15:02

Of course it's not odd.

Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:02

Thanks, sorry there are a few typos!!

OP posts:
PatsysPyjamas · 23/04/2014 15:05

Sounds nice to me. Does your wife think it is odd because you usually buy gifts from both of you? That is the only reason I can think of.

randomAXEofkindness · 23/04/2014 15:09

I think it is a lovely idea too. I buy my 5 year old flowers and she absolutely loves them (they're usually crispy for at least a week before she'll let me throw them out). Will you be putting both names on the card?

SoonToBeSix · 23/04/2014 15:09

I think it's a really lovely thing to do, you sound like a great dad.

Weegiemum · 23/04/2014 15:10

It's a great idea! My dad has bought me flowers several times, the first time was my 13th birthday. It's a significant moment, and my dh did the same for our dd1 when she turned 13.

Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:17

Thank you RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie!

OP posts:
Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:18

Thank you Martorana, I obviously think so too.

OP posts:
Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:19

Thanks Cocolepew, I appreciate that

OP posts:
HowGoodIsThat · 23/04/2014 15:19

We have two daughters - they and I would be thrilled if DH bought them flowers. Its a lovely gesture.

It might be worth a wee chat with your wife to unpick why she thinks its odd - I wonder if she feels that a man bringing flowers is seen as a traditionally romantic gesture and that is why it feels odd?

You might want to make a gesture for her - something small but simple to mark the fact her baby has reached a significant milestone? Nothing to overshadow the importance of the day for your daughter but once she is in bed, a glass of Prosecco and a flick through old photos might be a way to celebrate together?

Nightfall1983 · 23/04/2014 15:21

I'm 30 and my Dad still buys me flowers regularly. He started when I was a teenager and I was chuffed to bits. I'd always seem him buying my Mum flowers too so it felt like a lovely 'grown-up' pressy.

These days he has his work cut out for him on special occasions as he buys a bunch each for me, my sister, our mum and our grandma who also loves with us!

CitronVert · 23/04/2014 15:21

I got some flowers for a teen birthday (14 I think) from my parents. They were delivered and they made me feel so special and grown up.

It's a lovely idea - go for it.

Nightfall1983 · 23/04/2014 15:22

lives with them. Sorry, typing too fast.

Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:22

Thanks PatsysPyjamas. I think that my be part of it. But at some point I think kids do want to feel they are valued separately by mum and dad, even though they appreciate their children together. It's like the idea of dad walking his daughter down the aisle - that's something the dad does. It's like for those girls who have a mum - when their body changes they talk to their mum. So I think you've got to the heart of the matter.

OP posts:
ThistledownAndCobweb · 23/04/2014 15:24

Lovely. My dad used to buy flowers for my mum, sister and I every Christmas Eve.
The first Christmas after he died the three of us, separately went out and got flowers for the other two.
Even now, years later I buy myself flowers on Christmas Eve and think of him.

Original poster
DoctorHits · 23/04/2014 15:24

Good for you. Maybe that's the problem - I have done it up until now so it is 'seen' differently? Thanks for your words

OP posts:
HoldOnHoldOnSoldier · 23/04/2014 15:25

I think that is such a sweet and lovely idea :)

DurhamDurham · 23/04/2014 15:29

My husband buys flowers for me and our two girls on Valentines Day, Easter, and sometimes when he just wants to (when they have been reduced in store Grin ). Our girls are 16 and 20, they love getting flowers from their dad.

slithytove · 23/04/2014 16:21

My dad got me flowers (pink roses) and made me a cd for my fifteenth birthday. Loved it, still have the cd and a pressed flower and I think it's a lovely idea.

paulapantsdown · 23/04/2014 16:37

My mum had 16 pink roses delivered for my 16th birthday. It is one of my best memories. I have no daughters, but intend to do this for the special little girls/god-daughters in my life.

I'm curious as to why your wife is uncomfortable with this?

grumpasaur · 24/04/2014 21:46

Definitely do this! My dad used to take me on special dates twice a year, just the two of us. Obviously it wasn't the only time we spent together but they were such special times for me!

Sherborne · 03/05/2014 13:27

I buy flowers for my 12 yr old daughter. No issue at all. She asked if I would about a year ago, saying "you buy mum flowers... Why don't you by me some?"
So now I do :-)

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