My husband threatened our son

[loganberry12]

My husband had a row with our 18 yr old son last night & threatened to "put a hole in his face" he pinned him to his bed & raised his fist to him. I got in between them & pushed him away told him to leave. This is all in front of our 4 year old daughter! We have been separated for 2 years he doesn't live with us. My son is fine a little shaken but mostly angry with his dad. I'm upset don't know what to do about this.

Your son is old enough to decide for himself although i would be encouraging him to have some time apart and to write a letter to bis dad explaining that he needs some time to consider if he wants a relationship with him or not.

With your DD you need to explain that what she witnessed was wrong.

First off, as you are separated then there is no need for your h to be in your home, let alone your son's bedroom.

Email your h and tell him that due to his behaviour, he will no longer be welcome in the home in which your son lives. Access to dd can be arranged via a neutral setting. It will be up to your ds what he wants to do wrt to his father and their relationship. But you must send a very strong message for your dc's sake and yours, that such behaviour will not be tolerated in your home.

Agree with f1nola

How did the row happen, what was subject etc.?

My son is same age but his Mother and I remain a couple.

There are certainly occasions where his behaviour, usually associated with some variant on frustration, has been such that I have felt need to physically restrain him.

Had he not been a wee bit broader and heavier than me then threats like those mentioned in the OP might realistically have been issued.

Agree with all above but not with Bromptonaut. Whatever your issues are with your son, such threats against your children are never, ever justified. Carried out, they would constitute criminal behaviour.

OP - hope things are alright now with your DS and DD.

Haven't heard from ex since Saturday when he threatened our son . Our son is fine . I will not be letting ex into our home again .