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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

16 nearly 17....

4 replies

RB75 · 06/04/2014 10:59

My DS who's 17 in August (he's the 3rd of 4) has been reported missing 3 times in 2 weeks to the police. This all came about after his ex-girlfriend informed him she was pregnant. He went off the rails and there was even alleged drug taking. Every week he would go missing/not come home on time/stroll in when he wanted!
Since Xmas every weekend has been a drama/arguments/leaving home scenarios.
Child services became involved as he was a missing person for 3 days the first time and keep stating he's not 18 and I have a parental responsibility till he's that age. The police however have advised that he can come and go as he pleases as long as I know where he is.
He's not working and has been asked to leave college as he never went and got too far behind.
We've offered nothing but support to him throughout the last few months and have reached the end of our tether now!
A few weeks ago he has moved Into my adult nieces home with her family, after sofa surfing friends homes whom the police deemed safe, and still no job/education.
I've taken his contract mobile and also stopped his monthly allowance.
Now we're to have a mediation meeting to see what support we can offer as parents to him becoming a father and what housing options can be discussed to support him.
Child services have also hinted that as he's under 18 we should pay his rent!!!
(We do give money to my niece, if and when needed)

Really just wanted to see what other peoples thoughts were as my husband and I have been to hell and back, nearly lost our jobs taking so much time off with all the missing episodes, been lied to, stolen from and the stress has affected both our healths and our relationship, but still we're dancing to his tune and what he wants.

I love my son and would never see him on the street but when do you say enough is enough?!?

OP posts:
ssd · 06/04/2014 11:16

you need the Irish poster Maryz here, try to talk to her

all the best, have a 15 yr old and am dreading any of this Sad

Maryz · 06/04/2014 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ssd · 06/04/2014 20:02

good advice!

smileyforest · 07/04/2014 10:57

Gosh Maryz.....so helps me with your sensible suggestions and coping with turmoil. I never imagined my teens would be how they are but the nearly 16yr old is kicking off now and I'm a single parent.... was in tears yesterday when he told me to FO.....its so hard.... have two adult children as well who remind me it will get better....can't remember going through any of this with them though I guess I had other things to deal with..... my main concern is smoking weed.... all there friends tend to be doing it!
OP I hope things work out for you and your son and family... it tears relationships apart and working too puts a strain on everything, its one thing I dread also.... my son has gf... joined at the hip... young pregnancy! Good sound advice from Maryz x

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