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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

how to tell dd shes getting chubby

34 replies

gingermop · 02/04/2014 08:02

omg im dreading this one, shes almost 15 and in last 6 months put on a lot of weight, we cook cook healthy but shes constantly hungry, snacking.
shes very image consious so me saying to her shes put on weight will deverstate her.
how would u handle it?

OP posts:
FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 06/04/2014 19:13

OP, what is your own weight, and attitude to food?

frenchfancy · 08/04/2014 13:46

Definitely don't point it out, she's a teenager, not blind or stupid.

Firstly, put it into context, my DD1 tends to put on a bit of flab around the middle and it worries her, but she is wearing size 8 clothes. I try to remind her of all the famous people she knows that are size 8 and look fabulous, and it seems to work. (If she is a size 20 at 15 then obviously you need to do something)

Spring is a perfect time to change the family's habits on snacking and meals. Stop buying the unhealthy snacks and get some more fruit instead. Start introducing a bit more exercise to the weekly routine, not exercise as such, but walking to the shops on Saturday, or going for a bike ride on a Sunday.

tara49 · 12/04/2014 05:51

I told my dd (14) that she was getting a bit fat. We had a chat about what she ate and she agreed to only have sweet snacks at the weekend and she walks home from school three times a week now unless it's raining. It's worked really well, she's shaped up nicely and I'm glad I mentioned it.

ivykaty44 · 14/04/2014 18:06

walking is great exercise and massively underrated. get her out for a walk with you in the evenings.

Op what exercise do you do? could she join? Could you suggest you go and both try some new sports, it doesn't have to be the same sports but trying out new stuff at any age is good and if she sees you trying something new she is more likely to feel comfortable with trying something new herself.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope · 14/04/2014 18:07

Cheesy that's dreadful! Poor you.

bevelino · 17/04/2014 23:11

My eldest was around a stone and a half overweight at 14 and I tackled it head on because she was conscious of it and upset. No more biscuits a heathy diet and plenty of exercise reduced her weight by 2 stone in 3 months. No dieting was involved and she has kept the weight off for the last two years.

BuzzLightbulb · 22/04/2014 09:07

Good timing, we were just having the same conversation.

14yr old wearing size 8 but a very different build and shape to her older sister also in the same size. Older sister has expressed her concerns about her younger sister's increasing consumption of crappy food and the impact on her weight.

She's probably a 10 really now, we're hoping she's building up to a growth spurt but in the meantime no more chocolate shopping, meals will be heavier on the salad and veg.

It'll do us all good, we're not exactly waif like ourselves so we'll run it as helping us lose weight.

alita7 · 22/04/2014 19:47

I would also approach it from an exercise pov.
Maybe tell the whole house you all need to get fit and make up a programme :)

GrumpyOldNag · 16/05/2014 15:09

This was me. I was never slim, but I was sporty. WhenI was in my early teens I began putting on weight, and we aren't just talking puppy fat, I think I ended up putting on 3 or 4 stone after about 3 years. I had absolutely no idea, how could that be? How could I have no idea? Well, I had never been one of those willowy kids, I'd always been bigger, and I was doing exactly what my friends were doing in terms of eating and exercise. They weren't putting on weight, so why would I think I was? I changed the style of clothes I wore so I didn't notice them getting tight.

I know this is a zombie thread but I wanted to say something, as this thread really touched me. To this day I would say that I haven't really recovered from the moment that I realised. I have never been so humiliated in my life, as when I realised that EVERYONE knew except me, had seen me inflate and continue to keep eating, even my parents has spoken about it behind my back, my parents who i loved and trusted more than anyone else. I felt so betrayed. I was suddenly saw what everyone else saw and was repulsed by myself, I believed no one would ever find me attractive ever. My self esteem was suddenly just gone. Then, the trying to shift such a lot of weight when your friends can eat or drink what they like "why are you having salad? You hate salad" and thn seeing their faces when they realise that you finally know... It took me at least twenty years to undo the damage to my confidence, and if I'm honest my insecurities still linger.

I suppose my point is this, if she's a little chubby, not too overweight, subtly encourage her and lead by example as PPs have suggested. But if she is actually getting unhealthily overweight, you need to speak to her. Do you think she is actively choosing to be fat and eat rubbish over being slim and healthy? My parents did. As a parent the first thing your job is is to keep her healthy. I found it very, very difficult to forgive my own parents lack of action when it was me who had to cut out food and spend hours at the gym to undo what I had unknowingly done to myself. I know I am projecting massively, but please don't let what happened to me happen to your daughter.

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