17YO DD's oldest close friend, I'll call her 'EV'(at a different school from DD) has MH issues which she revealed only to DD recently. DD encouraged her to make an appointment with her GP, to tell her mum - which she has subsequently done - and went with her to the appointment.
EV sometimes calls her late at night in tears or upset - not usually a problem for DD according to her, but since they turned 17 a few months ago and began to drink at parties (usually held by DD's friends from school who she has got to know) she has got into the habit of always drinking too much and ending up crying and being sick. DD and the others claim they now tell her not to drink - as apart from EV having to go home early and "making a fool of herself" it falls to DD usually to sort her out.
DD lost patience with her at the weekend. EV had gone out with a mutual friend, got drunk and started to cry. DD was at a party hosted by a friend of her boyfriend and was annoyed because EV was texting another mutual friend at the party asking him to come and 'help her'/ask DD to come and help her etc. She also texted saying she was on her way to the party, alarming the mutual friend at the party who was worried that the host would be angry with him for 'letting' drunken EV and friend come to his party.
EV and friends from her school are going on a school-leavers holiday in June - think sun, sea, sex and booze-type holiday. (DD isn't going). EV has worried and annoyed DD by telling her she's looking forward to getting drunk there and won't take DD's advice to not go on the holiday.
I told DD that it's not for her to be trying to tell EV what she should/n't do - whatever demon it is that drives her to drink too much and become depressed won't take good advice. Next time they go out DD should tell her friend that she's not willing to pick up the pieces at the expense of her own enjoyment. I've advised her that she's not responsible for EV but that's probably easier said than done.....
For a while I thought a bit of DD was 'enjoying' a bit of drama and flattered at being EV's main confidante. I'm proud of her for being a caring friend, but I can see why she's cross and exasperated. It's hard to know what to say to her (not that she often solicits my advice anyway).
DD has never been one for falling out with friends as far as I know. She told me that she thinks she's a good listener - that her peers confide in her. She has a good social life despite being shy and not very confident...
Does anyone have any thoughts?